Taking the right steps. Teen Mom OG star Catelynn Baltierra (née Lowell) and husband Tyler Baltierra got advice about how to build a relationship with their firstborn daughter, Carly, whom they placed for adoption in 2009.
“We’ve been trying to get pregnant, so we can’t help but think about our first daughter, Carly, who we placed for adoption. Because of COVID, we haven’t seen her in two years so I feel like we’re missing out on getting to know her,” Catelynn, 29, said in an In Touch exclusive sneak peek clip of the Tuesday, April 6 episode. “We asked our adoption counselor, Dawn [Baker], to come over and give us some advice.”
Once Dawn arrived, she said she had been reviewing the couple’s case notes from when she met them in 2009, which revealed that Tyler, 29, was sure yet Cate was unsure about the decision to place Carly for adoption. The scene then cut to an old clip where Catelynn and Tyler discussed how they wished they were able to keep Carly and raise her together.
Over the years, Catelynn and Tyler struggled with keeping a consistent, open line of communication with Carly’s adoptive parents, Brandon and Teresa Davis. In one throwback scene, Brandon and Teresa were very firm with the young couple, telling them Carly is their child and that Cate and Ty need to trust the decisions they make for her.
Now that Carly is 12 years old, Cate and Ty are still struggling to find a balance of how often they should reach out to Brandon and Teresa because they didn’t want to “offend” them. When Dawn asked if they had contacted Brandon and Teresa to ask for pictures, to ask how Carly is doing in school or to ask for a FaceTime chat so they can catch up with her, the couple said no.
“I’m curious about why you haven’t asked for some FaceTime. I know you have to do that through her parents,” Dawn said. “That’s why I feel like sometimes, it’s hard. I feel like they don’t want us super involved. So then, it’s almost like space sometimes feels like the best thing for them, maybe,” Catelynn explained.
Dawn shared her thoughts on the situation. “I mean, everybody might be OK to stay in their own camp, but that’s not a relationship,” she said.
“So the responsibility on our part is to reach out and ask all the time, constantly?” Tyler asked. “So, then their responsibility is just to respond?”
Dan then gave Cate and Ty her advice. “You have to step into that space and just try. Try to start the communication so that it’s not going to be so insurmountable, cause that’s what it feels like right now,” she explained. “There is a child that you both love tremendously, everyone knows their position in the relationship right now. But in order to build the relationship with Carly as a person and an individual, that’s going to require you guys to come out of your comfort zone.”
“I want you to be able someday to say to Carly, ‘Hey, we sent you letters, we sent you cards, we sent texts, we tried to FaceTime.’ And hopefully, she’s going already know that because those things are going to become normative and she’s going to be a part of that process,” Dawn added. “You can’t expect a relationship unless you make the investment.”
Teen Mom OG airs on MTV Tuesdays at 8 p.m. ET
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