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Think Having ‘The Talk’ With Your Parents Was Awkward? The Duggar Sex Talk Is Even Worse

Reality TV

Dec 14, 2018 9:40 pm·

By Chelsea Duff

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First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes… the sex talk from your parents? Wait, that order seems wrong. However, in the Duggar family, where you save your first kiss for your wedding day, it’s pretty spot on. And considering how little sex ed the kids get up to that point (though we assume that they have some idea of how things work considering how many babies Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar were popping out over the years), things need to go back to the basics. So while you thought having to talk about the birds and the bees with your parents is bad, it’s pretty much way worse for anyone who needs to do it in front of a camera crew. Check out the gallery to see just how the Duggar sex talk plays out.

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The awkwardness all started on Josh and Anna’s wedding day.

Just a few hours before he was set to tie the knot, the 20-year-old finally got “the talk” from his dad, Jim Bob.

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The producers started things off by asking Josh about kissing.

“We have talked about it some and just making sure that we’re on the same page as far as getting it prepared and being ready for it,” Josh told cameras. “It’s just like, you gotta know which way to — You don’t want to just like miss or something.”

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But the couple clearly knew enough to be making jokes about what was going on.

“Our chaperones are busy. That’s convenient,” Anna teased as the camera cut away to family members taking care of a baby and ironing some garments.

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But she made sure to clarify she was just kidding when the camera panned back to her.

Wouldn’t want anyone to get any funny ideas about what they could’ve gotten up to with those distracted chaperones! Now that would just be a nightmare.

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But it wasn’t long before Jim Bob decided to pull Josh aside.

It was time that they had a little, uh, father-son chat.

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“Hey, Josh, you know you’re getting ready to get married,” Jim Bob started..

“I did know that,” Josh cut in quickly, always ready to have a little fun, before Jim Bob continued, “I thought it’d be time to have a man to man talk with ya. About the birds and the…. bees.”

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Josh may have been giggling, but Jim Bob takes this stuff pretty seriously.

“There’s a lot of things that couples don’t… It’s hard to learn on their own, so I’ve got a little present I’m gonna give him,” Jim Bob shared with the crew.

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And then Jim Bob was leading Josh away.

You know, so they could talk a little bit more previously. Wouldn’t want unmarried Anna hearing about any of this!

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Josh was the one who ended up leading the way, though.

He seemed pretty confident that he already had the situation handled.

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But they still ducked into the Junior Church to talk.

Seems appropriate, no?

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When they got there, Jim Bob pulled out the present he had for his son.

And that’s when things started to really get weird — because Jim Bob may have been giving the talk, but he was outsourcing a lot of the work, too.

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The present was a book and a book on tape.

The book, of course, was one of JB’s faves — Dr. Ed Wheat’s Staying in Love for a Lifetime. And the other was another Ed Wheat classic called Before the Wedding Night.

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Josh immediately flipped both over to check out the backs.

“Before the wedding night… definition of normal sexual intercourse,” he read aloud.

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And then, of course, he laughed.

Because what could be funnier than sexual intercourse?

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Jim Bob didn’t have time for nonsense. He had to hint at foreplay.

“I think it’s really important for the man to learn to cherish his wife and for him to realize that it takes a lot longer for her to kind of get in the mood and stuff after they’re married,” he explained. “A man is instant on, instant off. But a woman is like, it takes… It takes time.”

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Dr Ed Wheats Staying In Love For A Lifetime

And Dr. Wheat is just the person to help you do the emotional foreplay.

“This is a book that Dr. Ed Wheat, who was my doctor growing up, wrote. And he counseled Michelle and I before we got married and taught us everything we know,” the father-of-19 explained.

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“If I give this to you, you’ll know everything we know,” he continued.

“I think I kind of understand how it works,” Josh replied.

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Josh Duggar Is Not Serious About Sex Book

“I think I kind of learned that from…” Josh started.

Of course, his dad cut him off before we could find out just where Josh thought he’d learned about sex from.

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Instead, Jim Bob said, “It’s kind of, It’s kind of like legos.”

Aaaaand they both laughed. Sex, legos — we have fun!

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Then, they started to go through the book together.

Luckily, there wasn’t much reading out loud on Jim Bob’s part. We just don’t know how much we need to hear him say all the technical terms. “Legos” is fine, thanks.

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We did get a moment where Jim Bob said, “This doesn’t have pictures or anything.”

Josh, always quick with that reply, shot back, “Aww, man!” And then, even more quickly, “No, I’m joking.” We have a funny feeling he wasn’t, though — especially considering how he looked over at the crew to catch their reactions.

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Luckily, Josh decided he didn’t need any pictures to figure it out.

“I’ll have a working model… Right?” he asked his dad, who hesitantly answered yes, before Josh continued, “No pictures necessary.”

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Then Jim Bob had to make it all about emotions and blah blah blah.

You could tell Josh was tuning out when his dad said, “I think the main thing, Josh, is that married life is not about, like, a physical relationship… Married life is actually about both of you giving 110% to each other. And there will be times you don’t agree in life. You’re gonna have conflicts. But always resolve your conflicts before the sun goes down every day.”

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Josh was clearly like, anyway, back to the sex stuff…

But Jim Bob just wasn’t done with the emotional guidance. “To you, one of the most important things about life will be having a physical relationship. But for your wife, one of the most important things will be able to talk and share her heart every day with you. And to you, some of these things might seem kind of trivial. Some things that went on in her life, it may seem like they’re not important, but to her, for her to be able to express that to you, and for you to respond that you care about her, and that you care about the little things in her life, this will show her that you love her and you cherish her and you care about her.”

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And in doing so, Jim Bob revealed probably more than he meant to about how boring he finds Michelle.

“Women speak a different language than men. Women want to tell all these details of everything that happened even before they get to the main point. And sometimes, after they tell you everything that happened in a given situation, you still don’t understand the main point,” he said. Don’t worry, he wrapped it all up in the end. “I pray that you will work hard and be a provider for your wife. That you will go and just be sensitive to her as she… You’ve got a wonderful bride here and we’re so thankful for Anna.”

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And you know that every good sex talk ends with a side-hug.

Seriously, this family really doesn’t even front hug each other — not even when they’re the same gender. Guess after all that talk about sex, they wouldn’t want anyone to get riled up.

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Ultimately, Jim Bob stressed that he’d always be there for Josh.

“Any questions, I’m just a phone call away,” he said, as if his son should call him up in the middle of the night to be like, “We can’t get down the exact mechanisms to pull off doggy-style.” But Josh wasn’t into that idea anyway. “I think this will help, though, to not have to be on the cell phone all that much,” he said.

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He also got a mini sex-talk from his cousin Amy.

Well, it was more of a kissing talk, but as someone in the family who’d ~kissed~ before marriage, she fancied herself something of an expert. Josh, however, didn’t agree. “I think the advice she gave was not very helpful,” he told cameras once she’d walked away.

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Dr. Wheat’s advice, on the other hand, he seemed to find ~very~ helpful.

The couple started to put things into action before they’d even reached their honeymoon suite yet. And we all know what happens on a Duggar honeymoon.

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They practiced kissing a little more as they listened to the book on tape.

“This is Dr. Ed Wheat,” the stereo sounded. “Love involves close bodily contact, and the pleasure of seeing, touching, and enjoying with all the senses… If you noticed, I just used the term to know each other in the most intimate sense possible.” Sexy stuff, right?

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Don’t worry, though — Josh kept an eye on the road.

Because apparently they’d been driving the whole time. Who needs to pull over and park when you can just sneak kisses during stop lights?

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Jim Bob And Michelle Give Jessa And Ben The Sex Talk

When it was the girls’ turn, Jim Bob and Michelle weren’t nearly so graphic.

They didn’t say hardly anything to Jill, and when Jessa was getting ready to walk down the aisle, they focused mainly on kissing.

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And the girls got that same speech about how they’ve got so many emotions that boys don’t have.

“Throughout the relationship here, both of you’ll like the physical relationship, but the guy, that’ll be kind of the main focus. But for a woman, communicating is the most important thing,” Jim Bob said. “And so taking time each day to communicate, that’ll mean the world to her.”

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But Jessa and Ben were hardly even ready to talk about kissing.

Well, we suspect Jessa was more than ready. But Ben was like, “We’re saving our first kiss for our wedding day. We think it could lead to some stuff that we’re really trying to avoid before our wedding.”

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And yet, Jim Bob was more than happy to teach them how to make out.

And if you’re totally weirded out by that, well, so was Michelle. But she got on board for a practical demonstration before long.

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Jim Bob And Michelle Demonstrate How To Kiss

“Let me show y’all the best way to kiss here,” Jim Bob said.

“If you kiss straight on, your noses are gonna hit, see? So you have to turn… She turns one way, I turn the other.” And Ben thought the whole thing was just hilarious.

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Ben And Jessa Laugh At Jim Bob And Michelle Kissing

Jessa eventually realized it was less weird if she laughed along, too.

Plus, she was probably getting used to her parents getting physical right in front of her and her man — they’d been doing it since her first date.

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Michelle Demonstrates How To Tilt Your Head

Michelle also had some words of wisdom of her own to share.

She showed the couple how they needed to tilt their heads one way…

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Michelle Demonstrates Tilting Your Head To The Other Side

Or, if they wanted, they could tilt their heads the other way…

It was a lesson that Jessa would take to heart — and share with Jinger when it was her time.

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Speaking of Jinger, her “talk” was even weirder than Jessa’s.

Everyone still kept it to kissing instead of the full blown “it’s like legos” description that Josh got, but this time it was just her sisters describing things to her while Michelle sat nearby and pretty much tuned it all out.

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“We were saying, we were talking about it,” Jinger said when asked about her kiss plans.

“It’s like okay, you’re gonna go to the left, I’m gonna go to the right.”

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Jessa Duggar Explains How To Tilt Your Head

Jessa, now a kissing expert, immediately saw the issue with that.

“You’d both go the same way,” she pointed out. Instead, she took it on herself to clear things up with that lean-one-way-lean-the-other demonstration her mom had so deftly taught her.

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Jessa Duggar Explains How To Tilt Your Head The Other Way

“If you’re facing each other, you both go the same exact way,” she clarified.

“You just have to figure out which way that is.”

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But Jinger still just wasn’t getting it.

And her confusion (and a little bit of panic) were starting to show on her face. “I don’t understand,” she said.

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Meanwhile, even Jana was like, girl, it’s not that hard…

And this is from Jana! The girl who’s presumably never even held hands with a boy!

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Jinger Duggar Is Overwhelmed By Talk Of Kissing

But Jessa just laughed.

“It’s not that complicated,” she shared super helpfully.

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Jill tried to simplify things even further.

Either he initiates or you initiate,” she explained as Joy listened with rapt attention and filed all this information away for later. “‘Cause then you just follow the lead.”

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