The Duggar Honeymoons Are Weird, Sweet and Sexy All at Once

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It all starts with a super sexy honeymoon suite.

Dang, that place looks nice. Think there’s a heart-shaped jacuzzi tub in the room? A four poster bed? A cozy chaise where the bride and groom can cuddle up and share their first private conversations about all kinds of things?

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JK. It’s got double beds.

But at least it looks like Jinger and Jeremy only slept in one of them and just piled the pillows on the other. That’s kind of hot, right? Think they kept their socks on when they climbed into bed that first night together? It was November, you guys.

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You know what else is hot? Praying.

Which is what Joy-Anna and Austin got up to the morning after their wedding. Hey, it’s not necessarily how we would spend our first morning waking up with our new husband, but to each their own, right?

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After that comes traveling together.

This is the first test of marriage where you find out if you and your hubby will really be able to make it long term. Do you have compatible airport habits? Will you walk around clinging to each other like Joe and Kendra did or do you want your space?

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Will you still want to touch each other after being on a plane for 24 hours?

Considering that you’re newlyweds who are only newly allowed to touch each other, probably. But still, jet lag plus plane smell plus weirdly sweaty despite not moving much is a powerful combination that not everyone can overcome. The fact that Joy and Austin are all cuddled up despite them both desperately needing a shower is a pretty powerful thing.

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But when you get to where you’re going, there’s always a gorgeous view.

Jinger and Jeremy’s view of Australia was incredible. They could even see the Sydney Opera House from their hotel room, not to mention the sparkling water and the Sydney Harbour Bridge.

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Joe and Kendra could see the Acropolis of Athens.

Seriously, this is a priceless view of Greece. And the perspective of getting to see the ancient ruins juxtaposed with the modern day buildings is something special for sure.

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Even the Outer Banks were gorgeous.

Jill and Derick may have gotten the low-budget trip because they didn’t have a honeymoon special, but they still went somewhere beautiful. It looked like they had the beach all to themselves from their private little house.

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But with that goodness comes the resident newlywed grossness.

“I ‘wuv’ you,” Joe told Kendra, and that baby talk is totally appropriate for a couple who are experiencing their first relationship. But also, considering the fact that these are married adults, it’s kind of inappropriate, too.

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“I ‘wuv’ you tons and tons,” Kendra replied.

Then again, Kendra didn’t seem to mind. And considering how fast the couple went from newlyweds to new parents, maybe it’s not such a bad thing that they never made it out of the baby talk phase.

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Of course, there are plenty of adoring gazes.

And as we all know, Jinger is the queen of the fan-dubbed “Duggar love stare.” And we got to see plenty of it as she and Jeremy adventured around Australia.

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Oh, and there are matching outfits, too.

Ain’t that the cutest thing? Just look at these two in their matching red and black collared shirts. We can just imagine them picking out their outfit together in the morning. Barf.

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In case you thought it was a coincidence, it wasn’t.

Josh and Anna actually wore two different matching outfits on their honeymoon. Now we’re just wondering who got dressed first and which of them is the copycat.

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No Duggar honeymoon is complete without a cooking class.

Wow! Can you believe that greek salad doesn’t have lettuce? Joe sure couldn’t! Crazy to think that you can combine a bunch of fresh veggies together and it actually makes a meal. Back home, it’s just frozen green beans and canned tomatoes all day long.

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Austin and Joy got to make chocolate in Switzerland.

Low-key, theirs was the best. First of all, it was chocolate — and second of all, it was Swiss chocolate. But it also just gave them more of a chance to be creative. And considering how much this family loves the chocolate mess, well it seems fitting that they should get some insight into making their own.

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And they got to be fun and playful with it, too.

Though we’re pretty sure that Joy has a different kind of playing in mind as she looks at Austin with those bedroom eyes. Her face is all like, “What that mouth do?” And he knows exactly how to work it.

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They weren’t the only couple to get flirty in the kitchen.

Jessa and Ben couldn’t stop themselves from kissing as they worked on homemade pasta. He kept leaning over to give her smooches on the cheeks, heads, lips, you name it.

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And they were pretty amazed by the finished product.

You know how they say a picture is worth a 1,000 words? This one perfectly explains any fake jokes about the family smoking pot. They may have been cooking, but they looked pretty baked.

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Jinger and Jeremy got straight up sexy at their cooking class.

They couldn’t keep their hands off of each other — which was pretty weird, considering they were a regular amount of affectionate during the rest of their trip. But hey, as Jeremy said, “Watching Jinger cook, she’s beautiful… And so it was getting a little hot in the kitchen.”

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But the chef wasn’t having it.

She was serious about teaching the couple how to cook, and she didn’t appreciate needing to scold them when they got caught up instead of keeping an eye on the grill. There’s no room for fun when you’re throwing a shrimp on the barbie, Jeremy.

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And she got seriously pissed when she had to tell them twice.

Yeah, it was about as uncomfortable to watch as it seems. And then watching Jinger and Jeremy have to eat lunch with her afterwards just extending the awkward moment until it was straight up painful.

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But they don’t just cook — they also eat new foods.

Though they’re not always psyched about it. When a chef in France bought Ben and Jessa a free plate of escargot, they both flipped. Typically, the Duggars love getting free stuff — but this was clearly one gift they wished they could give back.

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Ben became the literal blinking man meme.

“Sorry, you want me to eat snails?” The way he responded was so priceless that we literally wanted to take the clip and make it into the next viral reaction gif to take over the internet.

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But you can’t say he didn’t try it.

You can say that Jessa didn’t, though. She totally wimped out, blaming her “weak stomach” as an excuse. Doesn’t it seem like the Duggars always have a weak stomach when it’s convenient? And yet they can handle all those creamed soups and cheeses at home.

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In Greece, Kendra gathered her courage and ate cooked spinach.

We know, we know. This girl is braver than anyone we know. Despite her “texture issues,” she gathered up all of her grit and tried a single nibble of spanakopita. Can you believe? Get this girl a trophy.

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Joy got freaked TF out by some fizzy water.

Her expression says it all, but also so does the fact that she and Austin kept calling it “water with gas” instead of bubbly water or, you know, something normal. “When you’re expecting water just, like, regular, and you drink it…” Joy started, with Austin finishing, “It’s a let-down.”

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And when it came time to fondue, they had no idea what to do.

“What’s a fondue anyways?” Joy asked. “What do you do with that?” They couldn’t figure it out — despite the fact that it is pretty basic — so Austin literally whipped out his phone so that he could not-so-subtly spy on the table behind them to see how they were supposed to eat it.

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And then he still had serious trouble.

Which was a mystery to us viewers at home. Meat and cheese and bread seem like staples of this family’s diet, and yet it went totally over their heads when presented in a slightly different medium. Also, Austin burned his tongue on the hot cheese and almost spit the whole thing out.

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Josh and Anna had some pretty exotic food in South Carolina.

Ahhh, Myrtle Beach. Home to Doritos and Vault energy drink, apparently. Because who doesn’t want to have a stomach ache the whole first week you get to spend alone with your new spouse? Who needs to sit down for meals when you can just snack throughout the day?

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But OK. They had some fancy food too.

And Anna was predictably mystified by the salad dressing they made at the table, joking that she’s used to 99¢ meals, not bone-in steaks. The good news for her is that, in this family, she’ll be back to 99¢ meals as soon as the honeymoon is over.

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They go out of their comfort zones in other ways, too.

Like by going to public beaches with other people around. What if Josh sees a woman in a bikini?! Nike, everyone, nike! And Anna letting it all hang out in that modest, uh, bathing costume? We can see her knees! Now that’s some sexy swimwear.

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Or by sleeping under the sharks.

Well, maybe they should call it napping under the sharks. Josh and Anna gave it about 30 minutes before they packed up their sleeping bags and nope’d it right back to their beach house. They were absolutely not about camping out on the cold ground all night long, even if it was inside.

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Jessa pushed Ben into confronting his phobia of heights.

She literally pushed him out onto the part of the Eiffel Tower where there was a glass floor. “That’s what couples are for,” she joked. “Gotta face your fears,” she added — before pretending to point out cracks in the glass. Guess it only works one way, though, considering that Jessa didn’t exactly have to face her fears when it came to that uneaten serving of escargot.

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Jinger and Jeremy tried out throwing boomerangs.

Meanwhile, Jinger looked absolutely terrified at the idea of throwing something only to have it come speeding right back at you. Her face said it all as she was like, “Sorry, you want me to what Throw this pretty much as myself as fast as I can?”

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But maybe she had a right to be afraid.

After all, one boomerang did knock Jeremy right in the shin and even made him start to bleed a little. NBD, though — just dodge better next time. The camera crew, on the other hand, wasn’t as lucky. After all, it’s a little harder to get out of the way when you’re trying to handle all that heavy film equipment — especially when you need to get the shot.

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Joy and Austin were like, “Sure, we can confront death.”

And to be fair to them, hang gliding seems like the best way to handle it. If you drop out of the sky and plummet to the ground where you will be squashed like a bug on a windshield, at least you had a gorgeous view, right? And like Joy said, at least they’d be together.

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Austin even though maybe they’d like to face death a second time.

As for Joy, well, not so much. There are only so many memento moris that a girl can pack into one afternoon, you know? And risking it all one time is more than enough. No need to do it twice.

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Jeremy and Jinger discovered a new instrument.

Didgeridoos are apparently all the rage on the streets of Sydney, and when this couple stumbled across one, it was like nothing they’d ever seen before in their lives. Which, TBH, is a little crazy. Like, did they even Google Australia before they hopped on a plane?

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Spoiler alert: They probably didn’t.

And their faces were seriously the dictionary definition of, “WTF?” Jeremy even remarked that the sound it make was kind of like a “fart,” which is both incredibly respectful to the indigenous cultures who play didgeridoo and very sexy to his new wife that he probably hadn’t farted in front of yet.

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But they gave it a go anyway.

Well, not Jinger. She stuck to her clapper sticks. Apparently, someone told her that if women play the didgeridoo, “they’ll get pregnant or something.” Which as we all know, was something that the couple wanted to wait a little while to do. But more on that later.

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Joy also got musical on her honeymoon.

But she was rocking that yodel instead. And thank God that she had some yodel experience already, although it was more of the blue grass variety than anything from the Swiss Alps. Still, she kind of killed it while Austin sat back and watched.

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Correction: While Austin sat back and filmed.

He was beyond fast when he whipped that camera phone out and hit play. Judging by his face, this was not a moment he wanted to rely on reliving through memory alone. We’re pretty sure he was into the whole thing. Take that as you will.

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With new experiences come some, uh, cultural miscommunications, though.

In Australia, Jeremy ended up with tribal paint all over his face. Jinger was less into the whole thing, though she agreed to have the slightest dab of paint added to her hands. But when her new husband suggested bringing some fun cultural appropriation back to the states with them, well, she cringe appropriately.

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Joy ended up all snuggled up to her hang gliding instructor.

Leggings and an arm around a man who isn’t your husband? That’s some sexy stuff for a girl who just graduated from side-hugging! Dang, Joy! Actually, wait, does this technically count as a side-hug? Is there a time limit on how long you can side-hug?

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For that matter, so did Austin.

But he did shout across the way to his wife to see how she was doing. Of course, she didn’t mind the distance — or the very public conversation with their instructors able to hear every word. Hey, it’s just like courting with chaperones all over again!

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Jessa and the Italian pigeons seemed to get along great.

A little too well for her taste, it seemed. We’re pretty sure she regretted feeding bread to this flock of birds just about immediately. But once you open that door, you can’t exactly close it. And it wasn’t long before she was swarmed by the pigeons.

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But what really threw off was a greeting kiss on both cheeks.

When she met the Italian chef, he leaned in and pecked her on either side of her face — and you could just tell she was not expecting it. After all, she just started getting cheek kisses from her husband! And speaking of Ben, he wasn’t a huge fan of it all either.

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Joe was the one who really botched it, though.

When a woman from a local theater company greeted him and Kendra as “cousins,” improvising as she advertised her play, she went in for the traditional smooch. Joe didn’t exactly get how to go along with it, though. He managed okay when she kissed one cheek, but when she went in for the other, well, he had a little trouble navigating where his face was supposed to go, accidentally turned it towards the woman’s.

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He only just got his mouth out of the way in time.

Or did he? We’re honestly not sure whether or not their mouths exactly touched, but rest-assured it was way too close for comfort. “You got a kiss there,” joked Kendra, who didn’t seem to mind at all that another woman’s lips may or may not have touched Joe’s.

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There comes a moment where the newest Duggar relative drops that “19 kids” bomb on a stranger.

When an older couple advised them to have lots of kids, Austin got a haunted look in his eye as he told them about Joy’s huge family. She, however, happily explained that they were leaving that whole however-many-babies thing up to God.

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Kendra had similar mixed results when she made a friend in Greece.

When she spilled the beans about her husband’s big family, the woman she was talking to was pretty much gobsmacked. “What do you mean nineteen?” she asked, sure there was some kind of mistranslation going on.

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She caught on pretty quickly, though.

And it wasn’t long before she was making her own jokes about the situation. “Your dad? He’s still at home? Or he run away?” she asked Joe, who wasn’t laughing along. Kendra, on the other hand, found the whole thing to be pretty hilarious.

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But the real cultural barriers come in play during public transportation.

While boating from one harbor to another, Jinger had to fight some serious motion sickness. We say let it all out, though — there’s no better time to puke in front of your husband than when he’s most in love with you.

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Jessa and Ben struggled with the trains.

You’d think Jessa might have a little experience with them considering her family’s trips to New York, but we guess she wasn’t exactly the group’s navigator back then. Oh, and things are a little different when all the signs are printed in a foreign language.

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Joe and Kendra had trouble with the tickets.

“It’s all Greek to us!” they joked about 4,000 times before they finally found the British flag icon in the corner of the screen that would let them access the English language menu. But at least they got there, right?

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But Joy and Austin didn’t just have the language barrier at the machine.

They also had a rude stranger hurrying them along. Guess a German stranger shouting, “Schnell!” at you doesn’t have time for you to play around and see if you can figure out how to work the machine in a foreign language before you give up and switch back to English.

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Don’t worry, though. They played it cool.

And honestly, it wasn’t such a bad thing to happen on their honeymoon. Sure, they got hustled along by a rude stranger, but how else will you quickly find out how your husband handles confrontations like this? It’s kind of a great test for a newly-married couple.

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Josh and Anna didn’t have to deal with any of that, though.

They just drove around in their, uh, beautifully decorated car. What, they couldn’t even take the convertible from date night? Guess it’s true that all the romance dies once the courting period is over. So much for that newlywed love bubble.

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Honeymoons are also when you find out all the small things you hate about your hubby.

Like how they lick their plate when eating a food that’s “really, really good,” like Joe apparently does. “I’ve asked him not to do it in public,” Kendra told the camera defeatedly. “I think the plate licking habit is something that we don’t want to do that, teach our kids to do that, so we probably should start work on breaking that habit. That way, we could be — or you could be a good example for the kids, because I don’t really struggle with licking my plate.”

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Joy gave Austin an eye-roll so strong that we’re surprised both eyes stayed in her head.

But she’s right, Austin was being a complete drama queen about skiing up in the mountains. He was convinced that there simply wasn’t enough snow on the ground, only acknowledging that skiing might be “humanly possible” when he saw a few other skiers carving up the slopes.

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Jessa and Ben have an issue with their tooth brushing habits.

“He bangs his tooth brush off on the side of the sink and it splatters toothpaste all over the mirror… I like flick the water off into the sink with my thumb,” Jessa explained, while Ben protested, “But then you… all the germs on your hand get onto your tooth brush… Tooth brush bristles are not to be touched by anything.” Jessa responded, “We’ll figure it out,” cheerfully enough, as Ben stared into the distance knowing that they would never figure it out.

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And you have to confront your fears of letting go of control, too.

Especially when your spouse is driving. It’s your first time alone in the car with them, and if you can’t figure out how to trust that they won’t kill you, well, there’s not a lot of hope for your marriage. On the other side of the coin, if you can’t drive your partner around without them fearing for their life, you’ve got a problem, too.

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Kendra’s “no, sir” says it all, doesn’t it?

We’re fully stealing this for the next time someone does something we don’t like. Someone puts the near empty orange juice carton back in the fridge? No, sir. Someone doesn’t use their turn signal when changing lanes? No, sir. Derick Dillard starts getting transphobic on Twitter again? No, sir!

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Jinger was also a strong passenger-seat driver.

Her voice kept saying, “Wow, you’re doing great, babe,” but her body kept saying, “Let me the f–k out of this car 30 minutes ago.” She simply couldn’t handle the fact that they were driving on the other side of the road — and that she felt like she was sitting in the driver’s seat with no steering wheel in front of her.

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But they did kiss and make up.

Kind of. While they were stopped, they tentatively both leaned forward for the quickest peck you’ve ever seen. And, of course, they both still did their best to keep their eyes on the road. You know, just in case. Safety first!

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And then there are the moments where things just get weird.

Like when Josh and Anna dragged a camera crew around their rented beach house to show how many different beds there are just for the two of them. Wonder what they got up to with all those beds! Can’t imagine!

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Jinger and Jeremy shared some awkward jokes at her family’s expense.

Remember the didgeridoo-pregnancy comment thing? Jinger shared that little anecdote and then was like, “Me and my siblings used to pretend the suction tubes on the vacuum cleaner were didgeridoos and try to play them,” and Jeremy was all, “Does your family have a lot of didgeridoos?”

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Kendra and Joe shared this moment.

Which is totally cute and normal except for the fact that there is now no way that I can believe that this is a couple that hasn’t seen Titanic. But it’s impossible for them to have watched it while following their parents’ rules. So was that like the first thing they did as a married couple? Sprint out of the ceremony and order Titanic on Amazon Prime? I need to know, you guys. (I also need to point out that Joe is way more bootylicious than I could have ever anticipated. But that’s beside the point.)

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Oh, and then there was this cutesy little moment.

“Do not disturb,” all right. They’ll be in their hotel room drawing each other like French girls all night long. Or, more likely, scrolling through what else Netflix has on offer now that they’re finally allowed to make up their own rules about what movies they can and can’t watch.

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And then, of course, there are all the kisses that happen all over the place.

At the hotel in Arkansas, Jessa and Ben exchanged a ~french~ kiss. And by that, of course, we mean that he asked her to kiss in french, and then they kissed. But now we’re wondering if the Duggars kiss with tongue, and it’s a question we just don’t have an answer to (yet).

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They kiss at the beach, too!

And you must selfie it, of course. If you didn’t take a picture of your marital kiss, inspiring your parents to do the same and start a marital kissing challenge, did you even kiss?

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There are cooking class kisses!

Screw that instructor. These newlyweds weren’t going to let anything stop them from locking lips in that hot kitchen, no matter how many times they had to be sternly shooed apart.

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Kisses at the Acropolis!

Ruins are hot, after all. And you know they had to kiss a couple of times — and practice that selfie arm, too. Joe and Kendra may not be on Instagram, but they’re just as obsessed with taking couple pics as everyone else.

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At the beach house, things got steamy.

The couple had no problem ignoring the camera crew as Josh pulled Anna into his lap for a quick makeout sesh. Considering they courted for two full years and had to wait until Anna was 20 so that they could get engaged, they were clearly making up for lost time.

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There were tons of hang gliding smooches.

You know. In case you die. Who wants to plummet out of the sky without having shared one last kiss with your husband? And of course, you have to celebrating surviving your hang gliding experience with another kiss.

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Jessa and Ben got close at the “love locks” bridge.

Which is gone now, just FYI. RIP Ben and Jessa’s love lock. But hey, at least they’ll always have this moment, captured on a camera by a whole filming crew. That’s more than all those other love locks couples can say.

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There were kisses in the airport.

What better way to pass the time waiting in line? Or on one of those moving walkways that help you speed around the terminal? Or while hanging out in the gate surrounded by fellow travelers just trying to eat their plane snacks and calculating exactly how many sleeping pills they need to pop and when so that they can pass out before takeoff but after they get their seat?

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Paragliding came with a little lovin’, too.

All while Josh and Anna were still in their modest swimwear, of course. Wouldn’t want anyone to be able to glimpse Anna’s shoulders, but public makeouts are totally fine. They’re married, after all!

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Hessa and her man got romantic while trying on funny hats.

Get in that hat with her, Ben! Married couples share everything, right? Why draw the line at accessories or apparel when you can try to haphazardly squeeze in together?

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Sailing was also pretty sexy.

Just ignore the fact that this kissing couple is actually sitting as far apart from each other as they can get. Pay no mind to how far forward they both have to lean instead of just moving slightly closer together.

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The best kisses come after eating olives.

With that sexy, irresistible olive breath. And it was all the more potent for Joe, who actually hates olives, and yet managed to suffer through torturing his tastebuds so that he could give his wife a peck on the lips.

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Don’t worry, though, Kendra made sure to really rub it in!

When they pulled apart, she continued to tease him — and even waggled her olive-breath tongue at him just in case he forgot why she had decided to spontaneously kiss him in the street.

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Fancy, empty restaurants have the perfect setting for smooches.

Is this not the picture of weird romance? Dark mahogany and white tablecloths and a meal that cost more than 99¢ as you sit next to each other instead of on opposite sides of the table? We can’t think of anything better.

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There was kissing while covered in pigeons, too.

And it was definitely not weird or anything. Nope, nothing strange to see here. Just two newly weds exchanging a heated embrace while joined by two pigeons making sure they didn’t miss a single one of the bread crumbs the couple was throwing earlier. Have you ever seen anything sexier?

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On your honeymoon, you kiss with your whole heart.

Or mouth, if you’re Joe and Kendra. Get both of her lips inside of yours, Joe. Yeah, that’s the spirit. You’ve got the hang of it! Perfect.

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And if your spouse doesn’t kiss you automatically, well, just beg for one!

“Kiss me, kiss me,” demanded Joy when they were riding the gondola up into the mountains of Switzerland and Austin wasn’t paying enough attention to her.

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And don’t let up, even when they question her.

Pretending that he hadn’t quite heard, Austin asked, “Did you say, ‘Kiss me, kiss me’?” He even leaned forward so that he could hide their faces with his cap, the little minx.

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