Reflecting on the past. Mariah Brown spoke candidly about her sexuality and religious upbringing on the March 15 episode of Sister Wives. The TLC alum was visibly emotional while discussing the experiences in her life that have shaped the woman she is today, revealing she was once “very devoted” to the church she was raised in.

“I wanted to live polygamy,” the 24-year-old said in the confessional, while seated next to her fiancée, Audrey Kriss. “I think it was a way to protect myself from, like, coming out to myself, really.”

Brown explained how she is “very grateful” for the way her parents, Kody Brown and Meri Brown, raised her, mentioning how life has still been “very painful” for her at times, despite having their unwavering support over the years. “It was really hard for me to, like, be gay and be religious,” she adds, before recalling their move to Las Vegas, Nevada.

mariah brown and audrey kriss smiling
Courtesy of Mariah Brown/Instagram

The reality star couldn’t help but ponder over what she would be up to now if they never decided to relocate. “My guess is what would happen is I would get married to a man with a few wives, be there a few years, hate my life and eventually leave,” she confessed.

Brown even praised her father for helping her get through those tough times. “Right after I came out, my dad, he told me this before but he reiterated to me that he had a conversation with God many years ago and God said, ‘You love, I judge,'” the TV personality shared. “And so all dad did was love. That’s all he does with everybody.”

Meri and Kody’s daughter also addressed how she felt “marginalized” by her church at some points, because she wasn’t following certain rules or guidelines. She later praised her family for always sticking by her side. “I found so much comfort and they love me anyway,” she added. “They love me and they love Audrey, and they love our love.”

mariah brown gushes over audrey in birthday message
Courtesy of Mariah Brown/Intagram

The couple previously announced their engagement in January 2019, after Brown got down on one knee to pop the question at the Women’s March held in Washington, D.C. In May 2019, she revealed how excited she was to work out with her fiancée.

“Now that I’m certified to teach maybe I’ll be able to convince her to come to class with me (hopefully!),” she told In Touch via email.

We’re glad to see they’re still going strong!

Sister Wives airs on Sundays at 10 p.m. ET via TLC.

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