She’s telling her side of the story. Amanda Bynes is finally talking about her highly publicized breakdown in a candid new interview, opening up about her past drug use and more. The actress discussed how she “definitely abused Adderall” and previously faked the symptoms of ADD to get the medication.

The actress, 32, is appearing on the cover of Paper Magazine‘s third Break the Internet special, where she discussed her experimentation with certain substances. Amanda said she started smoking marijuana at the age of 16 and later, “it progressed to doing molly and ecstasy.” She added, “[I tried] cocaine three times, but I never got high from cocaine. I never liked it. It was never my drug of choice.” Amanda said she did take a liking to Adderall however, noting how around the time she was filming Hairspray, she remembered “reading an article in a magazine that [called Adderall] ‘the new skinny pill’ and they were talking about how women were taking it to stay thin.”

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Amanda explained how this inspired her to try the amphetamine and shortly after, she was able to get a prescription by going “to a psychiatrist and faking the symptoms of ADD.” The actress said her use of the pills started to impact her ability to work in 2010. “When I was doing Hall Pass, I remember being in the trailer and I used to chew the Adderall tablets because I thought they made me [more] high [that way],” she confessed. “I remember chewing on a bunch of them and literally being scatterbrained and not being able to focus on my lines or memorize them for that matter.”

However, it wasn’t until Amanda saw her appearance and performance in the film Easy A, that it convinced her to quit acting on the spot. After retiring from her craft on Twitter, Amanda said she would “wake and bake” to fill her time, but it became a sad routine for her. On the plus side, she’s already started to make a comeback. Amanda is currently studying at the Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising (aka FIDM) and is looking forward to continuing on with her Bachelor’s degree next year, in addition to pursuing more acting jobs.

“I’ve been sober for almost four years now,” the actress revealed, explaining how her parents really helped get her back on track. “Those days of experimenting [with substances] are long over. I’m not sad about it and I don’t miss it because I really feel ashamed of how those substances made me act,” Amanda said. “When I was off of them, I was completely back to normal and immediately realized what I had done — it was like an alien had literally invaded my body. Truly, for me, [my behavior] was drug-induced, and whenever I got off of [drugs], I was always back to normal.”

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