It was the biggest night of Ryan Gosling’s career. At the 96th Annual Academy Awards on March 10, the Barbie star — who was up for a Best Supporting Actor trophy — brought the house down with a rousing rendition of “I’m Just Ken,” his hit (and Oscar-nominated) song from the movie’s soundtrack. A-listers like Margot Robbie and Emma Stone danced and sang along, while Hollywood heavyweights congratulated him after his history-making performance.

There was one person who wasn’t there to share in the magic of the moment: Ryan’s wife, Eva Mendes. “People were surprised Eva wasn’t by Ryan’s side,” a source exclusively tells In Touch. “It was a huge evening for him, and she was nowhere to be found.” While the actress, 50, was spotted backstage earlier, and later paid tribute to Ryan, 43, on Instagram, Eva’s glaring absence points to trouble in paradise for the couple of 13 years. The parents to Esmeralda, 9, and Amada, 7, are hanging on by a thread, the source says, as they struggle with jealousy and fights over expanding their family. “Ryan and Eva don’t like to go to events together, but the Oscars were different. It just goes to show how separate their lives are.”

Behind the scenes, Eva’s feeling resentful of Ryan, says the source. In 2012, she put acting on the back burner to focus on being a mother and wife. “Eva has given up a lot to support Ryan and be a hands-on mother to their two daughters,” says the source. Now, as his career continues to skyrocket, Eva is feeling insecure and having trust issues. “Ryan goes to set and enjoys his work and interacts with his colleagues, while she’s sitting home caring for their kids with no other social life.”

They recently spent six months in Australia while Ryan filmed his upcoming flick, The Fall Guy, with Emily Blunt. “Eva was cut off from her family and friends,” says the source, adding, “it created a lot of jealousy.” While Eva loves being so involved at home, it can be overwhelming. “It hasn’t been easy for her to be the primary parent as Ryan pursues so many acting roles,” explains the source. “She adores being a mother and supporting Ryan, but that doesn’t mean it’s not difficult at times.”

The cracks are starting to show publicly. On the night of the Oscars, the Hitch actress shared a post on Instagram of her posing backstage in the pink bedazzled blazer Ryan wore. The caption read, “You took Ken all the way to the Oscars, RG. Now come home, we need to put the kids to bed.” It was a strange choice of words, says the source. “It almost felt like she was nagging him. Couldn’t she have just let him enjoy the rest of the evening? It was a big night for him, and she’s pressuring him – on Instagram for everyone to see – to come home as soon as possible. It was a little bizarre.”

According to the source, Ryan sets the tone for the relationship. “It may not seem obvious, but he’s very dominant and dictates how they live their public life,” says the source. “He insists on their ultra-private image, and from the beginning he was the one who decided that they would not step out together.” The source says Ryan is more moody and serious than he lets on. “He lived in his own house — separate from Eva — until they had their first child. That kind of shows his true personality,” says the source.

Eva Mendes and Ryan Gosling Secretly Wed During ‘Very Intimate’ Backyard Ceremony
Sonia Recchia/Getty Images

It was his call to not announce they’d tied the knot, says the source. Eva referred to Ryan as her husband during an interview in 2022, but aside from that reference, they don’t publicly say they’re married. “Ryan is intensely private,” says the source, “so there’s a lot of mystery surrounding them as a couple. The fact that they seem to live separate lives only adds to the mystique.”

Eva is starting to push back on certain issues. The source says Eva wants to move away from Hollywood. “Ryan doesn’t want to move because of his career, but Eva’s is virtually nonexistent, so she’s declared they should leave L.A.”

And she recently told him she doesn’t want more kids. “Ryan has brought up having another child, but that led to another fight between them, because Eva doesn’t want one,” reveals the source, noting that the pair are in disagreement over nearly everything these days. “Eva’s decision on baby No. 3 might be the final straw; they could break up over it.”

She also wants to start putting their relationship out there more. “Eva accepted Ryan’s wishes, and she loves him, but it’s not typical for her personality [to be so private],” says the source. “She’d like to be a little more public with their relationship, because people truly sometimes forget he has a wife and children!”

It’s become yet another battle. “Eva has loosened up over recent years, and has no problem with sharing small peeks into the family life, but Ryan has always held the upper hand in their relationship and insists that his way goes,” the source reveals. There’s talk he’s given her an ultimatum to let it go — or else. “Eva wants to make Ryan happy,” says the source, “but it’s only a matter of time before she’s had enough.”

Have a tip? Send it to us! Email In Touch at