Love them or hate them, the Duggar family gets people talking — and criticizing and, yeah, in some cases, shaming. On this week’s Dishin’ with the Duggars, a new podcast from In Touch that discusses, disses, and even occasionally defends the famous family, we’re taking on the mom-shaming the Duggar daughters deal with pretty much every day on social media. Whether it’s about how they dress their kids, feed them, or even just hold them, they seem to constantly come up against criticism. Is it totally unfair or actually kind of deserved? Listen in to the full podcast above and get the highlights below. 

When it comes to mommy-shaming, Jill Duggar gets it the worst. 

And, to be fair, a lot of that has to do with all of her awful recipes which we discussed last week. She certainly seems to feed her growing toddlers mainly canned foods, which doesn’t exactly inspire mommy-praising (is that a thing? Maybe it should be). But she gets plenty of flack for other things, too, like using a tortilla as a hat for her youngest son  or sharing an unsafe stroller hack. One of her more recent Instagram posts about finally installing cabinet locks in her kitchen took a lot of heat. “A long overdue project!” Jill captioned the shot. “Since Samuel has been walking, he keeps getting into the kitchen cabinets! Finally getting the cabinet locks put on!”

“Why did this take so long? Two unemployed parents with young children so close in age should’ve gotten this done by now,” wrote one fan. Unfortunately, they’ve got a point. Samuel Dillard may have just started walking, but his older brother Israel has been walking for quite a while now. Though he may not have been much of a cabinet snooper before, it only takes one time for things to go wrong with cleaning chemicals. At the same time, though, Jill can’t change the past and the fact that she didn’t do it before — is it better that she’s at least getting around to it and reminding all her followers to do the same? “I should really get around to that,” one fan wrote. “We’ve had the child proofing stuff for 2 months and my husband hasn’t done it. So maybe it’s time I do it myself!!”

When Jessa Duggar gets mommy-shamed, she claps back. 

None of the girls are a stranger to dealing with the judgmental comments from fans, but Jessa is the least likely to put up with it. Which makes total sense considering she’s always seemed like the most self-confident sister. When she posted a video of her younger son, Henry Seewald, trying La Croix for the first time, the comments basically flooded in. They pretty much all centered around the fact that Jessa had joked about La Croix not tasting like Fanta in her caption — and it was all fans could see. 

“Please tell me you don’t give him Fanta,” wrote one concerned fan, and all hell broke loose. What seemed like a thousand fans leaped to Jessa’s rescue, defending her choice to give her kid soda or Fanta or a sip or two of whatever she’d like, but she actually had it covered all by herself. “No, he prefers coffee and energy drinks,” she teased the fan, before getting serious and clarifying, “And of course I’m joking. He only drinks breast milk and water.” 

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Jinger Duggar‘s been a mom for all of five minutes and she’s already getting mommy-shamed.

While occasionally the “shaming” is warranted, although not nicely handled, other times it seems like fans are just looking for something to pick on the girls for. When Jinger posted this adorable picture of her new baby daughter, Felicity Vuolo, most people just thought it was cute. A few people, though, had something to say about it, and poor Jinger was hit with the full-force of mom-shaming Instagram comments. 

“Why does her face look so dirty?” wrote one follower, with another calling Felicity’s giant-bow headband a “suffocation hazard,” which seems a little strong to us. People also took note of the car seats and whether or not they were fastened properly — regardless of the fact that we can’t even tell if the picture was taken inside of a car. The comments got so bad that Jinger even disabled them on her post, meaning all them, including the compliments about how sweet little Felicity looks, were wiped away. Ouch. 

Even the guys have to deal with dad-shaming every now and then.

You’re not exempt from mommy-shaming just because you’re not a mommy. When Jeremy Vuolo posted what we’re sure he thought was an endearing photo of him cuddling his daughter while watching a sermon, fans piped up. “Jer the light of the computer is not healthy for the eyes of your baby!!” read one comment, with others adding, “Her eyes are still too delicate for screens like that,” and, “Be careful.. I believe ‘screen time’ before age two can have adverse effects.” Luckily, most of the comments he got seemed like kind warnings rather than rebuking his skills as a parent, but we’re sure it still rained on his parade. 

When it comes to mom-shaming, though, it all leads back to Michelle Duggar

But here’s the thing — Michelle doesn’t actually face all that much mom-shaming. While she makes plenty of mistakes on camera, they were typically recorded on her family’s shows 19 Kids and Counting and Counting On, which means they don’t bleed over onto social media nearly as often. And it’s not to say that anyone deserves to get bullied online, but it is kind of a shame itself, because when it comes to bad parenting habits, the Duggar girls got it from their momma. That stroller trick Jill took heat for? She learned it from Michelle. The messy houses? Those habits started at home. 

The kids may have made mistakes like using tortillas as sun hats for their babies or letting dirty diapers piled up in corners, but they learned it from somewhere. Because if we’re being honest, Jim Bob Duggar and his wife have had the worst parenting fails of them all. Sure, they had 19 kids to deal with — but they also had a whole family to help keep things clean and running smoothly. Also, you’d think you’d know by your 18th child that you shouldn’t feed them while they’re lying down on their back. Choking hazard much? So while yeah, mommy-shaming is totally not cool or fair or nice, we kind of wonder what would’ve happened if Michelle had been shamed a little more, straightened up her act, and passed along good habits to her kids instead of bad ones.

Subscribe here and listen to the entire Dishin’ on the Duggars episode above.