My head was spinning when my co-worker texted me last week that John David Duggar was in a courtship with Abbie Grace Burnett — on my off day because I guess this is our lives now. It felt entirely out of left field that perpetually single John David would finally link up with someone, although entirely on brand that he'd beat sister Poor Jana to the punch. Then with the suprise announcement of Josiah and Lauren Swanson's wedding, it all became clear. See, the Duggar family always needs another marriage, and therefore wedding, in queue. Otherwise, how will they possibly stay relevant?

Think about it this way, even outside the realm of Duggarland, your wedding day is supposed to be, whether you agree with it or not, the most important day of your life. There's a reason why the season or series finale of so many TV shows is a big wedding episode, why every fairytale you grew up with ends with the couple getting married and living happily ever after (maybe not Jack and the Beanstalk, I'd have to doublecheck). It's grand, it's romantic, and it's the kind of thing people like to tune into.

Now take the Duggars, a family with limited distinguishing characteristics and hobbies besides piloting, pickling praying, and photography (Jinger only). Though their questionable lifestyle choices are amusing and slightly horrifying, the Duggars as people are, uh, little less than fascinating than other reality TV stars. So conspiracy theory: what if the line-up of marriages is stragetically planned to keep Counting On on air? Let's look into it…