The Challenge alum Leroy Garrett reflected on “retiring” from the MTV franchise after Camila Nakagawa’s “racist” outburst while they competed on Dirty 30 in 2017.

“You basically rewarded her for being racist and being violent,” Garrett, 44, said in an Instagram video on Monday, November 15. “I’ve seen people get sent home for less.” 

The reality star admitted the incident has been “weighing” on his mental health “for years,” and he hopes to “break free” from what happened. 

“I finally wanted to forgive myself for not taking a stand,” Garrett continued in the lengthy clip. “I no longer live with regret or fear. This was the first step in my healing process.” 

The Challenge Leroy Garrett Talks Camila Nakagawa 'Racist' Rant

During the 2017 season, Camila, 33, got in an altercation with Garrett while intoxicated and called him a “Black motherf–king p–sy,” later yelling, “It’s all about Black motherf–kers like that piece of s–t!”

Garrett revealed he thought his competitor, who later apologized for the incident, would get sent home for what she said. However, she was not only allowed to stay, but the Brazil native went on to win the season’s $450,000 grand prize. Garrett also pointed out that after filming wrapped, MTV invited Camila to compete on Champs vs. Stars, which she was disqualified from after being disrespectful to the crew.

“I thought, ‘What the hell is going on? No one is about to talk about what happened?’ Imagine that,” the Michigan native recalled about how he felt when the games continued the next morning after Camila’s outburst. “The producers didn’t tell [host TJ Lavin] to say something. I have to say something. I was the victim last night and I have to bring up why something happened to me and basically force someone to apologize — someone who wasn’t going to do it on their own. Mindblowing to me.”

Garrett called out MTV for “not doing anything” to “help” during the tense situation. “It’s really heartbreaking and it’s sad,” he added. “To know that a network who, at this point, who I’ve given at least seven or eight years to, everything, you guys are basically just recording it.”

While the network asked if he wanted to speak to a therapist, Garrett explained that he simply wanted someone to “stand up” for him. “Why are you guys not doing anything? I don’t understand. The fear that I had of speaking up. … That’s not a company that loves you,” he said. 

The Real World alum added that it’s “disheartening” to see the network still “supporting” Camila, noting that MTV follows on social media her but not him. 

“I feel as if the network needs to start holding cast members and anyone they employ accountable for their actions,” he said. “All eyes are going to be on you with every move that you make now.”

That being said, Garrett is “open to having a conversation” with MTV about how to “make change happening,” adding, “The ball is in your court.”

For her part, Camila took to Instagram Live on Tuesday, November 16, to apologize, noting she doesn’t “condone racism.”

“I’m taking anti-racism courses. Literally. I’m trying to educate myself so that I never make the same mistakes, so that I fully understand my part in just being supportive of the cause,” the reality starlet said. “That’s what I want to do, that’s it. I was wrong, period, 100 percent.”

She also said that she has tried to contact Garrett, and they discussed what happened afterward.

“I don’t want forgiveness, I’m not the victim. What I did was wrong. It is wrong,” she continued, adding that she wants to be better for her 16-month-old son. “I know Leroy doesn’t care about me, and that’s fine. It’s his right. I probably wouldn’t care about someone that did that to me too. But I always had a special place for him in my heart. I always loved him so much and I don’t even understand why I did what I did. If regret could kill, I’d be dead for sure.”

MTV did not immediately respond to In Touch’s request for comment. 

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