“For me, [the adoption decision] felt right in the moment,” the 29-year-old explained on the “Reality Life With Kate Casey” podcast. “It’s hard to explain because it’s so heartbreaking. I don’t think people really get it, and I don’t even think people who do it get it fully until, like, years later.”
“I like to explain it as in, like, you know, you’re a mom, you have kids, you have that natural parental thing that is like primal,” he explained. “It’s, like, primitive. So you’re literally fighting that feeling, like, 24/7 constantly, like even while she’s pregnant knowing, ‘OK, don’t get too attached.’ You’re constantly fighting this primitive feeling that feels so natural and organic.”
The Michigan native recalled a particularly vulnerable moment at the hospital with Catelynn, 29, shortly before saying goodbye to Carly, now 12.
“We were both bawling our eyes out and we looked at each other and had this look — shrug your shoulders — ‘we could just take her home, we can literally get in the car. No big deal. Tell this family never mind. Let’s go home and deal with the chaos, whatever,’” Tyler continued. “And it just takes a lot of sacrifice. That’s all I can think of is the word sacrifice, emotionally and just to just literally walk out of a hospital without your baby. It feels, like, horrible. It’s heart-wrenching. It feels wrong on all levels.”
Following their adoption decision, the pair kept Carly on their minds before reuniting with her earlier this year after a two-year separation.
“What they couldn’t really show on camera was we gathered outside the restaurant after dinner. And we are saying goodbye. Hug each other. And when we went to go hug again,” the 16 & Pregnant alum recalled of taping the recent MTV episode. “I kind of did sense that she was showing emotion when we said goodbye. But it was more, like, a little kid counting … So this time of her being 12, you can tell that she was having pretty much her emotions about it, this time saying goodbye.”
The Conquering Chaos coauthor added at the time, “And just, you know, knowing that it was difficult for her out, like, made me, like, ‘Oh my god.’ So, I actually walked away and kind of just let myself feel it walking towards the car. And so this time saying goodbye, it hit me differently. It was, like, wow, like, she’s not a little kid. She’s 12. Like, she has more mature emotions. She’s really kind of understanding the situation that we’re in, in that for the first time that I’ve ever seen her have a hard time saying goodbye — which made me, of course, I always have a hard time to say goodbye — So it made me totally lose it.”
The MTV stars — who also share daughters Novalee, 6, Vaeda, 2, and Rya, 11 weeks — previously explained their adoption decision to daughter Nova during the November 12 episode of Teen Mom OG.
“We chose a semi-open adoption when we had Carly 12 years ago,” Catelynn said during the episode. “Her parents don’t have to give us visits, but we always do something for her birthday. Now that Nova’s older, I’m curious how much she comprehends about the adoption.”
The makeup artist noted at the time, “Twelve years ago, mommy and daddy were at the hospital and had Carly. I was a lot younger. … We weren’t being very smart when we were younger. Then Brandon [Davis] and Teresa [Davis] came up there to meet Carly.”
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