Reminiscing about the past? Even though Lamar Odom and Khloé Kardashian had their issues, the athlete has some remorse about not making their marriage work. “Lamar would still love to be with Khloé,” a source revealed to Us Weekly.

However, the 39-year-old is also still on good terms with the KUWTK starlet. “There’s no beef between [them] at this time,” an insider told the publication. “He’s always had love for her and her family.”

Khloe Kardashian Wearing a Black Shirt with Lamar Odom
Jason LaVeris / Getty Images

The New York native will also reveal more details about his connection with the Revenge Body host in his upcoming memoir, Darkness to Light, which comes out on Tuesday, May 28. “He’ll talk about their relationship in the book, his regrets, the highs and the really lows,” the insider added. However, the blonde beauty “hasn’t read the book.”

The Good American designer married the dad of two in September 2009 after they dated for one month. Unfortunately, things didn’t work out since Koko filed for divorce in December 2013, but following the news of his near-fatal overdose in October 2015, she decided to withdraw the papers. However, the California native filed for divorce a second time in May 2016.

Now, the former Los Angeles Lakers forward is admitting what went wrong between them. “At the start of our marriage, I was faithful to her,” read an excerpt from Lamar’s book. Soon afterward, Lamar began to engage in extramarital affairs and even tried to hide his cocaine addiction from his wife. “I could not handle the lethal cocktail of the spotlight, addiction, a diminishing career and infidelity,” he wrote. “Oh, did I mention the paranoia, anxiety, depression … I couldn’t keep my d–k in my pants or the coke out of my nose. Drug addicts are incredibly skilled at hiding their habit. I’d get defensive, and Khloé would just drop it.”

Khloe Kardashian Wearing Jeans and a White Top with Lamar Odom in Jeans and a Black Shirt and Hat
Mark Sullivan / Getty Images

Ultimately, the Khloé & Lamar alum revealed he never should have strayed away from his lady. “I wish I could have been more of a man. It still bothers me to this day. But regret is something we have to learn to live with,” he wrote.

You live and you learn, right?

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