Do we really feel bad for him, though? Lamar Odom admitted that he regrets ever cheating on his ex-wife, Khloé Kardashian, while talking to People about his new memoir, Darkness to Light, on May 15. Lamar, 39, admitted that he was not faithful to his wife and said, “I wish I could have been more of a man. It still bothers me to this day. But regret is something we have to learn to live with.”

“At the start of our marriage, I was faithful to her,” read an excerpt from Lamar’s book. But he began to have affairs and to hide a cocaine addiction from his wife. “I could not handle the lethal cocktail of the spotlight, addiction, a diminishing career and infidelity,” he wrote. “Oh, did I mention the paranoia, anxiety, depression … I couldn’t keep my d–k in my pants or the coke out of my nose. Drug addicts are incredibly skilled at hiding their habit. I’d get defensive and Khloé would just drop it.”

Lamar also told the outlet that when he was hospitalized following an overdose in 2015, the Keeping Up With the Kardashians star was there. “I remember waking up and her showing me pictures of my mother. I was surprised on how quick she was to show her devotion to me … Her love for me must have been unconditional. That’s the only thing [I think] that gave her the strength to still love me at that time.” Too bad he couldn’t be as devoted to her in return.

Khloé, 34, and Lamar met in August 2009 and got married one month later. They participated in a spinoff, Khloé & Lamar, which documented their marriage — every little bit of it, from the infertility rumors, to the cheating scandals to Lamar’s struggles with addiction. Rumors that Lamar had been cheating on his wife started swirling in 2012 and in November 2013, Lamar admitted to cheating on Khloé. The next month, Khloé filed for divorce for the first time, but eventually postponed it to try to give their union another shot, but to no avail. Ultimately, Khloé finalized the divorce in December 2016. It’s too bad these crazy kids couldn’t work things out, but it was probably best for them both to part ways.

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