As it turns out, Tristan Thompson‘s cheating may have done even more damage to Khloé Kardashian than we originally realized. In a new sit-down chat with big sis Kourtney Kardashian, the mom of one opens up about how her ex’s scandals affected her parenting. In the Poosh clip, she even hints it may have hindered her ability to breast-feed daughter True.

“I was under a lot of stress. There was a lot going in my life at the time that I think played a part in why I wasn’t producing [milk] as easily, but I don’t know,” Khloé, 35, said about her struggle to breast-feed. “It was just a lot, and then once True started losing weight … I remember the first time I had to give her formula, I felt so [much] like I failed.”

In addition to “stress” playing a role, the Keeping Up With the Kardashians star also blamed “being alone in Cleveland, not having [her] family there [and] just trying to figure [motherhood] out” for herself. The problem wasn’t just that she wasn’t producing enough to feed her daughter, though. It was also that she felt a lot of shame because of it. “For me, I almost felt like — I swear, I was, like, smuggling drugs by buying formula,” she admitted.

Eventually, the mom gave up on breast-feeding entirely. In a November 2018 tweet, she shared the news with fans, revealing that she tried “for weeks and weeks” before deciding that formula was what was best for True. Once she did, she started to get her confidence back when it came to parenting. “I’m great at this mom thing,” she said in the Poosh clip. “Breast-feeding I wasn’t great at.”

Following his first cheating scandal, Tristan, 28, and Khloé split after a second incident that involved Kylie Jenner‘s then-BFF, Jordyn Woods. One year later, a source told Us Weekly that the parents have “no plans to get back together” and are instead “happily coparenting.” Though the mom “still feels burned” by the way their relationship ended, she’s doing her best to focus on the future of her family. “She’s trying to practice self-care and self-love and integrate Tristan into her life more and more,” an insider said. “She’s focused on being a great mom to True.”

For access to all our exclusive celebrity videos and interviews – Subscribe on YouTube!