A Guide to Inexplicably Famous Kids Modeling, Branding, and Dating Scott Disick

Who Is Sophia Richie?

How old is she again? 19-years-old. She was born in 1998. She looks like she was born in 1998. How does Scott Disick sleep at night? There are Pokemon older than this girl.

Who is she related to? She's Lionel Richie's kid, as well as the sister of Nicole Richie (maybe you've heard of her).

Biological or Adopted? Because Nicole Richie was adopted. Yeah, true facts, she's the biological daughter of Lionel and his second wife Diane Alexander.

Does she like, do anything? Well, initially she had designs on being a singer, she even took vocal lessons with Beyoncé's dad but there was too much pressure being, you know, Lionel Richie's daughter and all. So at 14-year-old she probably thought, "What's something I can do that requires far less effort but will keep me in the spotlight?" Cut to: Sofia signing a contract with Select Model Management.

Didn't she date Justin Bieber for a minute? Yeah, they even went to Cabo San Lucas together, but obviously he's long moved on to Selen-er pastures.

Who is Hailey Baldwin?

How old is she again? 20-years-old, so even though she reads as a hard 27 with all that contouring, the girl can't even (legally) drink.

Which Baldwin is she related to? Stephen Baldwin, she's the youngest daughter of Stephen and Kennya Deodato Baldwin

What does she do? Is it just modeling? Nah. Most of what she does is modeling, but she does all the other cliché side-things that models do — like co-host the iHeartRADIO Much Music awards and appear in Cody Simpson music videos and collaborate with a United Kingdom-based footwear brand. Things like that.

Wasn't she also dating Justin Bieber for a minute? Yeah, go figure.

Why does she always look miserable? If we had legs like that we wouldn't be frowning.

Who is Ireland Baldwin?

How old is she? 22-years-old, so she's got a couple of years on Hailey.

Which Baldwin is she related to? She's actually the daughter of your fave, Alec Baldwin, and Hollywood smokeshow Kim Basinger. You'd think winning in the gene pool like that would give her more weight when it comes to Next Gen Baldwins, and yet all we talk about is Mask-of-Tragedy Baldwin.

So she and Hailey aren't sisters? No, just cousins.

What does she do? [exasperated sigh]

Oh, she's a model? Ding ding ding. She signed with IMG Models in 2013 and had one movie role playing the younger version of her mom in Grudge Match.

Remember when her dad called her a "thoughtless little pig" in a voicemail? Lol, yeah.

But she didn't date Justin Bieber, right? Right.

Who is Bella Thorne?

How old is she? She just turned 20 this October, but she was a teenager back in her Disicking days.

So she's a former Disney Channel star? Yep, it definitely seems like she just crawled out of the pop culture womb covered in gore and glitter this summer, but she first gained fame as Cece Cobb on Disney's Shake It Up. This wasn't really her dream, though, she pretty much took on the role to save her family from being homeless.

Huh, that's actually pretty sad. Right?

So what does she actually do? Well, she does act pretty routinely, she has the lead role on Freeform's Famous in Love. Her main cash cow, however, seems to be Instagram and Snapchat. "I started out 18 with literally not a cent to my name,” Bella told Galore Mag “[I had] $200 in my bank account when I turned 18. Nothing else. I bought a house this year from social media work, only from social media work. My social media to me is how I pay my bills."

Dark. So basically that explains why she acts that way? That and the whole "former Disney Channel star" thing.

Is she dating Blackbear? Um…

Is she dating Tana Mongeau? Well…

Who's Tana Mongeau? Idek, stop.

Seriously, though, how does Scott Disick sleep at night? We have no idea, dude.

Who is Jordyn Woods?

How old is she? 20, she's basically the same age as Kylie.

Ok, we kind of know she's Kylie Jenner's sidekick, but is she related to anyone? Nobody you'd know off the top of your head. Her mom Elizabeth Woods is well known around LA and is, apparently, a Talent/Brand Manager at Mixed Image Media. We're not sure exactly what that means, but it feels right.

Does she do anything besides be a professional BFF? Jordyn is (wait for it), a MODEL! What an epic twist there. She's a model for Wilhelmina International's Curve, which is their plus size division. She also collabed with Boohoo clothes to make a line for girls who are size 8 to 24. Like, Jordyn's whole non-Kylie brand is all about being a body positive role model, which is objectively pretty cool.

Do you think she gets a check every week to be Kylie's friend? Eeeeeeh, we don't want to say anything with certainty. We just think it's pretty suspect that she's basically Ky's castmate on Life of Kylie.

Who is Paris Jackson?

How old is she? 19-years-old, so she's like, barely existed on this planet.

Who is she related to? The late great Michael Jackson and ex-wife Debbie Rowe.

…Seriously? Well, there are a bunch of conspiracy theories that imply otherwise, but that's what's being reported.

The blue eyes seem suspect, though. Right, she's saying that's a genetic disorder, go figure.

And she's trying to be a model? Yep, she's signed up for IMG right now. She's also trying to build a filmography and has an upcoming role in Gringo. As a testament to her serious career change, her [Wikipedia page specifies](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paris_Jackson_(actress) she's an "(Actress)." Ok.

Is Blanket doing ok? He's going by "Bigi," now, but yeah. All things considered, it must be hard to be a Jackson heir, so we're gonna move on.

Who is Kaia Gerber?

How old is she? 16, literally 16, can you even f–king believe that?

Alright, so who is she related to? She's the daughter of '90s it girl Cindy Crawford and Rande Gerber.

She's a model? Yes, we're insulted that you even need to keep asking this.

But does she do anything besides that? No, but given that she is a child we're gonna shrug it off.