This is horrifying. In his new documentary, singer Chris Brown goes into graphic detail about the night he and his then-girlfriend, Rihanna, got into a physical altercation. Although it’s been more than eight years since the incident — Feb. 8, 2009, to be exact — the star is just now opening up about the details surrounding that fateful night.

In Chris Brown: Welcome to My Life, the 28-year-old gets real with fans and even confessed to making Riri bleed. He said, “We are arguing, arguing, and arguing, so then I remember she tried to kick me,” Chris explained in a clip from the documentary, which was posted on Facebook. “It was just her being upset but then I really hit her with a closed fist, I punched her. It busted her lip and when I saw it I was in shock. I was like, ‘F–k, why the hell did I hit her like that…’ So from there, she spit blood in my face and I was like, ‘Yo!’ It enraged me more and it was a real on fight in a car. We[sic] driving in the street, so I am like ‘Yo, we tripping, what the f–k, what are we doing?'”

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According to Chris, the fight — which began over jealousy — erupted at Clive Davis’ party before violently finishing in his Lamborghini. “By this time, her lip was busted and had a knot in her head because I pushed her head up against the window,” he said, before leaving her alone in the car. “And a lot of the time I look back at that picture and I was like, ‘Yo bro that is not me bro, that is not me!’ I hate it to this day, you know what I am saying; it is going to haunt me forever.” Uh, us too!

Earlier this month, the “Loyal” singer tried flirting with the star after posting a double eye emoji on a recent photo. Fans quickly came to Ri’s defense, though, and slammed her ex. One fan wrote, “Yeah keep peepin, she showing you what you gave up fool,” another added, “F–k outta here you piece of garbage.”

In the same documentary, Chris revealed that he was going to propose to the singer before being charged with felony assault. Since she has yet to comment on his confession, he’s reportedly trying to get her attention. A source told Hollywood Life, “Chris wanted to get a reaction from Rihanna, that was the whole point of telling the world that he was planning to propose to her.” They added, “He’s been trying to get her attention and it hasn’t really been working so he upped his game. And that still didn’t work. Rihanna hasn’t called, texted, nothing. He’s disappointed, he was expecting something more to come out of it.”

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