Nadya Sulemon — who now goes by the name “Natalie” — is trying hard to distance herself from her “Octomom” identity.

In a new episode of The Doctors, airing today, the mother-of-fourteen explains the shame she felt after posing nude in order to provide for her large family.

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“Rather than go get more public assistance, which I already felt ashamed of, I ended up selling myself out,” she says. “At the time, it was like an investment so that I could support my family. I believe the judgment I experienced was more than warranted because what were people supposed to believe? All they were being fed by the media was negativity.”

The resentment she feels towards her “character” continues to run deep.

“There is nobody, possibly, who could have hated ‘Octomom’ more than I,” she insists.

Check out what Natalia and her large brood look like today by clicking through the gallery!