To anyone who thinks that owning a pet is easier than having a child, boy, do we have a story for you. On Thursday, March 14, Pete Davidson’s girlfriend, Kate Beckinsale, sat down with James Corden on The Late Late Show. What did she discuss, you ask? Her career? Nope. Her relationship? Also, nope. Her cat’s nasty habits? Ding, ding, ding.

“These are sexy, so brace yourselves,” The Widow actress, 45, warned the audience. “OK, well, I inherited a cat from a friend of mine. I didn’t ask too many questions about why she was giving it to me … now I know why!” By this point, both James and fellow guest Milo Ventimiglia were just as invested in the story as the audience.

“You know when there’s, like, a dead body on the sidewalk and they spray around it?” Kate continued. “Sometimes when I’m asleep, she does that to me, but with s–t.” We’ll go ahead and give you a second to let that sink in. If you happen to have a cat, now is the time you should say, “Thank you for not defecating on me while I sleep.”

“She did it on my birthday. I woke up … I was having a dream that my mother was incontinent and I thought ‘Oh my God, this is such a vivid dream,’ and then, I woke up and thought, ‘Wow, it’s really stayed with me.’” P.S. The definition of incontinent is having no or insufficient voluntary control over urination or defecation.

Basically, Kate proceeded to explain that when she opened her eyes, she was surrounded by cat poop. “Not on me, just around me, sort of like a Harry Potter protective shield.” Fun fact: Pete and his ex-fiancé, Ariana Grande, bonded over their love of Harry Potter. Needless to say, we hardly think this is what they meant.

Turns out, the brunette beauty was forced to call in an expert called “The Cat Daddy.” No, we’re not kidding. Eventually, it came to light that Kate’s feline loves her so much that she “gets excited” and, well, do we really have to say it again? Here’s hoping that Kate’s beau, 25, doesn’t meet the same fate when he sleeps over. Then again, Pete and Ari, 26, shared a pig. So, we’re sure he’s no stranger to weird animal s–t, figuratively and literally.

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