We’re all on board the John David Duggar and Abbie Grace Burnett ship, so when the Counting On webisodes from their wedding dropped on TLC, we were all over it. And there was plenty of amazing material in there — Abbie calling John “sugar muffin,” little sister Joy-Anna Duggar legit crying when John introduced his then-girlfriend to the rest of the fam, the super sexy kiss that topped all other Duggar family kisses — but there was one thing that kind of creeped us out. While the 28-year-old was reading his vows to his new wife, there was something in there that just didn’t sit right with us. Because amid all of his promises to Abbie, John also vowed to kiss her at the most “inopportune times” and when she “least expects it.”

Reading from a hand-written letter, he promised to respect and lead Abbie, giving himself wholly to her and staying faithful. And then he added, “I purpose to kiss you when you least expect it at the most inopportune times and in the most random places we may be in the world just because I love you so much.” And then he’s back to talking about growing old together and other normal things. But we were just like, wait, what? Back up there, bud. Because while there’s nothing wrong with kissing your wife, there’s something seriously weird about promising to do it when she doesn’t expect it and when it’s super inconvenient for her.

We know the Duggars are all about being “joyfully available” and all that, which we guess theoretically means that Abbie should be prepared to be kissed at any moment, but this still just seems kind of not cool. Like, what about when she’s grocery shopping? Or driving? Or taking care of a patient in the unlikely scenario that she actually keeps her nursing job? We know that the Duggars love to kiss with an audience, but does she seriously have to be ready at all times? Abbie seemed to like the vow, so, like, more power to her or whatever, but we’re honestly tired just thinking about it. We simply don’t have the bandwidth for this kind of relationship.

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