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So We Need to Compare the Cringe Factor on Each Duggar Courtship Proposal

Jun 4, 2018 11:22 am·

By Mary Grace Garis

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It's nerve-wracking enough to pop the question to your S.O., but if you happen to be a Duggar, there's another step you have to go through first: the courtship proposal. See, ICYMI (and bless you if you're out of the loop) the fundie family is really big on the side-hug life and love to put a ring on it before you even get to know each other. But before you can even have that non-relationship and eventually get married, you have to go through Jim Bob Duggar…and ask him if that special someone can finally go on chaperoned dates with you.

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Because it's absolutely so farfetched that there would even be such a garish step between getting pre-engaged, we decided to look at all the most hard-to-watch Duggar pre-proposals. Some, like Jinger and Jeremy's, are relatively harmless, like watching a sort-of-sweet promposal…between two people in their 20s. Others, like Jessa and Ben's supervised (and video recorded) courtposal, is the stuff of cringe legends. And some, like Josh and Anna's, didn't really happen on screen so we didn't have to witness it. Lucky for us.

Best of all though, most include a slightly uncomfortable convo with none other than Daddy Duggar himself, and that's worth the price of admission. Scroll down to see all the oh-so-awkward Duggar courtship proposals.

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1 of 5

Jessa and ben courtship

Jessa and Ben

This is pretty much the OG on-camera courtposal and it is golden from the moment Ben asks Jim Bob and Michelle if he can court Jessa in a utility closet. OK, it's maybe a very small home office, I'm just saying I feel claustrophobic watching it. Also, Ben's argument for pursuing Jessa is because he really "appreciates her character" and not the fact that she's like crazy hot or anything. Sure, Jan.

Maybe it's because Michelle takes the wheel, but the couple doesn't waste Ben/my time in giving their blessing, and they bring Jessa in THE room for this romantic speech:

"Well, uh, we've been praying and talking for a little while," Ben begins. "I was just wondering if…you would want to make it official and wanted to…officially court me."

"Yes," an overwhelmed Jessa replies, armed glued to the side trying not to jump on him on the spot. And Jim Bob, who has been filming this one on his Blackberry the entire time, says "Hey, I tell you what, go on and give him a side-hug if you want to," and in one of the best moments of all time adds, "30 seconds." A pause. "30 seconds, I mean it."

This family.

2 of 5

Jill and derick courtship

Jill and Derick

You know what, the courtship proposal itself is sort of whatever and is overshadowed by the insane way Jill met Derick. That is, they had been Skyping for like three months, Jill declared she was "in love" with him, and she went with Jim Bob to Nepal to see if he was the right match. I'll repeat that again: Jill traveled 8000 miles and 36 hours to deduce for Derick Dillard. And the craziest part is that she buys into him without pause.

Not that Jill's the sharpest tool in the shed, but she does have like, eyes and ears and all those things to maybe suss out this is a bad move.

Anyway, Derick asks Jim Bob for his blessing and this time around there's a lot of unnecessary hemming and hawing. "Um…you know…that's a big step…" Jim Bob says. "Um…we went through this kinda with Josh being the…um…the guy…that, that went after the girl," he continues, struggling to remember his other children.

"It's the first time I've actually been through this…besides I guess, Jessa starting a courtship," He says, blatantly forgetting one of his children.

"But I know you guys are pretty serious, you know Jill really likes you,"Jim Bob goes on, about two people who have never met before yesterday.

"Um, I wish Michelle was here too so I could talk to her a bit, but you know…I really feel like if Jill is fine with this, then mama and I will be fine with this," Jim Bob concludes, hilariously humoring the idea that the women in this household have agency. Then Derick finally asks Jill to court him and they do, creating one of the most iconically worst couples of all time. Amen.

3 of 5

Jinger and jeremy courtship

Jinger and Jeremy

The lead up to Jeremy's courtposal is dramatized in a similar way to the Derick-Jim Bob thing, although I get the feeling that Papa Duggar really doesn't like this guy. The pulsating dramatic music kicks in, and Jim Bob's all, "This is a big step, courtship isn't getting engaged but it's def getting pre-engaged." You know, unless you're Marjorie Jackson. But after 400 years, he relents and gives his blessing. They shake hands over this business merger and Jim Bob adds, "Oh, and Jeremy? I hope she says yes."

Jim Bob did not hope she would say yes.

So Jeremy shows up with a few daisies in a mug and I'm about to throw shade before he says, "I saw these and all the flowers, and they had all these bouquets. But I know you love coffee and what better than coffee and flowers for you." I'll lose sleep over saying this, but it's kind of cute.

He takes her outside to watch the pouring rain and feeds the usual Duggar-y lines about how he's really "asked the Lord that he would give him a woman who has a heart for service and a heart for the Lord and a heart for the gospel." And really likes coffee. And then, as a slew of random dogs camp out around them, they exchange "I love yous."

I've had iced coffee that lasted longer than how long they've known each other, but OK.

4 of 5

Joy and austin courtship

Joy-Anna and Austin

I guess the nice thing about this is that the pair wasn't necessarily strangers going into this courtship; Joy and Austin had actually been friends for years and that's refreshing. I mean, not legitimately refreshing because they still made a marriage out of a barely-explored infatuation. But like lukewarm tap water during a heatwave refreshing.

Regardless, there isn't a lot of fanfare to Austin's courtposal, although what he says leading up to it has me side-eyeing. "You know the thought never crossed my mind of Joy saying 'No' to me courting her," Austin reveals. "I was confident enough in Joy and I's friendship that I knew she was willing and ready to take the next step." Uhhhh, maybe I'm overreacting, but is there something arrogant in there? He then goes on to tell "Miss Joy-Anna" that he didn't think it was coincidence or accident the way "The Lord" has brought them together.

Oh, girl, wait a minute. Is Austin one of those Nice Guys trying to climb out of the sort of non-existent friend zone? Like if this was a normal modern relationship and Joy said "no," there would be this whole period of estrangement followed by a series of 3 a.m. drunk texts? We'll never truly know.

Luckily (I guess) she's crushing on him back, so she says yes, they side hug, and they look out into the mountains, and it's almost romantic. Wait, is James watching them the entire time?

This family.

5 of 5

Joe and kendra courtship

Joe and Kendra

The Caldwells and the Duggars have also been tight for a while, to the point where there were rumors that Kendra had a romance with Jeremiah at some point. Idk what that even means, like they locked eyes with each other on a mission trip? Whatever.

Joe decides to take Kendra, her dad, Jana and…others, to the plot of land where he grew up. Jason lauds the plan as a genius idea, "It's pretty smart going back to the place where you were born, 'Here's where it all started, do you want to start something else?'" If it came with a larger speech or even that line, maybe it'd be kinda of clever? But Joe has the lofty transition of, "So anyway, um, I guess it's kinda neat seeing my past, seeing where I started, and I was wondering if you wanted to go to the next step of courtship with me." "Genius" definitely feels like a stretch, although Kendra, a basically roundheaded newborn baby, is all flustered with giggles.

Girlfriend's just happy she's been upgraded to side-hugs.

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