Back in the day, Derick Dillard‘s mom faced some serious health issues. In 2014, Cathy Dillard was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, and her family didn’t know if she’d be able to make it to her older son’s wedding. In a new blog post, Derick admits that he also didn’t know if she’d survive the duration of his honeymoon with Jill Duggar. While writing about “some of the riskiest things” he’s done in his life, the former Counting On star included going away despite that fact as one of those dangerous decisions.

“By far, the most important aspect of my life is my identity as a disciple of Jesus Christ,” the father-of-two wrote in a post on the family’s blog. “Doing my best to live for my creator has been an unexpected adventure thus far. … I think about adventure as ‘calculated risk.’ Adventure might very well lead you to the toughest times of your life and try you to your core. You can think about and plan something all you want, but eventually, you just have to jump and trust that God knows what he’s doing.”

He continued on, talking about how you need to have faith to take risks. While feeling “unusually reflective,” he decided to list some of those risky things he’d done, including auditioning to become Pistol Pete, his college’s mascot; moving to Nepal for two years; and “falling in love and marrying my best friend when neither of us knew whether my mom would be alive when we arrived back from our honeymoon.” He continued, “Many may suffer from the same ‘analysis paralysis’ that I used to struggle with, but eventually you just have to pull the trigger. You’ve got to take a calculated risk and just jump, even when you don’t exactly know what will happen.”

Though his list of risks also includes “changing a diaper” and bring his wife and new baby to “one of the most murderous countries in the world,” Jill seems nothing but moved by his sentiments. On her Instagram account, she promoted the post to her followers, sharing some love. And, for the record, Derick’s mom had some love of her own to share. “Wow! SO proud of my son and his wife!!” Cathy wrote on Instagram. “Aww, you’re the sweetest!” Jill wrote back. “We are SO grateful for you!!💕”

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