During an emotional Teen Mom OG reunion episode on April 23, Catelynn Lowell disclosed the depths of her depression. She said she even thought about taking her own life… and said it was Novalee Reign, her and Tyler Baltierra's daughter, who saved her.
Catelynn made the comments while telling host Dr. Drew Pinsky about her rehab stints. (The MTV star sought treatment twice — once in November and again in January — for help with her anxiety and depression. She also entered rehab in 2016.)
As Catelynn revealed on the show, she chose to go to rehab after her miscarriage resulted in suicidal thoughts. "If I don't go somewhere else today, I'm going to off myself and life would be 10 times better," she recounted thinking. She added, "I could picture myself driving into an electrical pole off the road, praying it would kill me. But I wouldn't do it because I had my kid in the backseat."
She felt a lot of guilt over her rehab decisions, since rehab would mean leaving three-year-old Novalee. "When I was in treatment, I struggled with the fact that like, you know, am I like putting her through the same stuff my parents put me through," she previously said in the reunion. "Like, just traumatizing her… it still scares me."
Even worse — and even amid all her turmoil — Teen Mom fans have criticized the reality star for going to rehab a third time, so much so that she had to defend herself on Twitter. "I wasn't 'running away' from my problems, I was FIXING them!" she tweeted. "Working HARD [and] getting on the right medication. I wouldn't wish this crap on my worst enemy! But I guess I'll have haters no matter what! Just glad I got myself better, and if people are mad, then be mad, I guess."
Luckily, the 26-year-old seems to have one rock-solid support system in Tyler. "I love you so much!" she captioned a recent selfie of the two of them. "For all you haters, vows say 'in SICKNESS and in health'… Remember that… because this man has done that for me beyond what I could imagine."
Here's wishing Catelynn a brighter 2018. If you or a loved one is grappling with suicidal thoughts, you can call the Suicide Prevention Helpline at 1-800-273-8255 for free, confidential support available 24/7.
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