Getting candid about the past. Ariana Grande revealed that her relationship with the late Mac Miller was very complicated due to his drug addictions.

“People don’t see any of the real stuff that happens, so they are loud about what they think happened,” she told Vogue in an interview published on Tuesday, July 9. “They didn’t see the years of work and fighting and trying, or the love and exhaustion.”

The 26-year-old rarely spoke about the rapper, but in May 2018, after a social media user claimed she was the one responsible for his DUI arrest, she knew she couldn’t keep quiet. “I am not a babysitter or a mother and no woman should feel that they need to be,” she tweeted at the time. “I have cared for him and tried to support his sobriety and prayed for his balance for years (and always will, of course) but shaming / blaming women for a man’s inability to keep his s—t together is a very major problem.”

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Now, the “7 Rings” crooner explained why she felt the need to defend herself. “That tweet came from a place of complete defeat, and you have no idea how many times I warned him that that would happen and fought that fight, for how many years of our friendship, of our relationship,” she said. “You have no idea, so you’re not allowed to pull that card because you don’t f—king know. That’s where that came from.”

Ari’s friends recalled that the brunette beauty didn’t sleep because she wanted to make sure the Pennsylvania native wasn’t heavily drinking or doing drugs. “It’s pretty all-consuming,” the pop star said. “By no means was what we had perfect, but, like, f—k. He was the best person ever, and he didn’t deserve the demons he had. I was the glue for such a long time, and I found myself becoming … less and less sticky. The pieces just started to float away.”

After Mac passed away in September 2018 from an overdose at just 26 years old, the Grammy winner went into a dark place. Luckily, her friends supported her and she went into the studio to record some new music. “My friends know how much solace music brings me, so I think it was an all-around, let’s-get-her-there type situation,” she said. “But if I’m completely honest, I don’t remember those months of my life because I was a) so drunk and b) so sad. I don’t really remember how it started or how it finished, or how all of a sudden there were 10 songs on the board. I think that this is the first album and also the first year of my life where I’m realizing that I can no longer put off spending time with myself, just as me.”

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She continued, “I’ve been boo’d up my entire adult life. I’ve always had someone to say goodnight to. So Thank U, Next was this moment of self-realization. It was this scary moment of ‘Wow, you have to face all this stuff now. No more distractions. You have to heal all this s—t.’”

Even though Ari has been through a lot, it seems like she is healing one day at a time.

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