MTV

Amber Portwood Admits She ‘Waited’ For Andrew And James To Go To Bed So She Could Kill Herself

Reality TV

Dec 18, 2018 9:05 pm·

By In Touch Staff

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She made a heartbreaking confession. Amber Portwood opened up about the suicidal thoughts she was having on the Dec. 17 episode of Teen Mom OG. The reality star refused to keep filming after talking about her depression during last night’s emotional season finale. Amber sadly admitted that she considered taking her own life at one point in time. Scroll through the gallery.

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Internet Trolling Takes A Toll

Amber revealed her postpartum depression is worsened by all of the parent-shaming she faces on a daily basis. As many have pointed out, the reality star completed rehab and served 17-months in prison on drug charges when her daughter Leah, shared with ex, Gary Shirley, was younger.

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A Tough Time…

The MTV star said the constant criticism makes it hard to stay positive. “There was a night I was waiting for [boyfriend Andrew] and [son James] to go to bed so I could kill myself,” Amber admitted. “And for some odd reason Andrew could feel it. He was like, I’m not going to bed.’”

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Heartbreak Sets In

Amber’s cousin looked on with concern as Amber sadly confessed that it “doesn’t feel good to be alive right now.”

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Cruel Comments

“People saying to me like why couldn’t you do this for Leah?” Amber explained, while breaking down into tears. “I was young and stupid. I don’t want to feel like that for the rest of my life.”

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A Friend In Need

Luckily, Amber is surrounded by loving friends who are eager to help. Her co-star Catelynn Lowell, who has been to rehab three times for depression and anxiety, flew to Indiana to pay her a visit.

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Breaking Point

“I’m at my end,” Amber told Catelynn, before blaming the series for her state of mind. “I’m at my lowest right now. I have no will. I’m not living for myself at the moment.”

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Feeling Misunderstood

“The person I am today is not being noticed as much as it should be,” Amber said. “This show has ruined my name. This show has not shown who I am as a person.” The reality star then told producers that she thinks it’s in her best interests to separate herself from the show.

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Stay Strong

“I just don’t feel like this is right for my life anymore, seeing that you guys want a certain kind of story that I just don’t want to give you anymore,” Amber said. If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.