The year is 2018 and somehow, a foul-mouthed, bratty, nine-year-old "rapper" by the name of Lil Tay has become a relevant force on the Internet. So much so, that people are actually concerned about her well-being. Specifically, whether or not Lil Tay has been picked up by Child Protective Services in Los Angeles, CA.
Recently, a report from Huzlers.com surfaced, stating that Lil Tay was removed from her family home in Beverly Hills on May 4. "Lil Tay was picked up by child protective services Friday afternoon when service agents visited Lil Tay and her families [SIC] home in Beverly Hills," the statement read. "Agents decided to pick up Lil Tay after one of her Instagram videos was shown in the child service office. It’s reported that multiple agents immediately sprung into action and raced to Lil Tay’s home, even using emergency vehicle sirens."
The report even included statements from alleged law enforcement on the scene. "We must save that girl," said Agent Chad Murphy. "We must save her before she ends up in the back up of 2002 Chevy Astro doing a low-budget BDSM porno scene for half-a-gram of cocaine and a can of AriZona iced tea at 18 years old.'"
Unsurprisingly, the report was a satirical hoax, and the "youngest flexer of the century" still resides safely at home with her (presumably absent-minded) parents. That said, her story is still worth discussing — for entertainment value, at the very least.
For those of you unfamiliar with Lil Tay, she boasts a mind-boggling 1.6 million followers on Instagram — an account of which, according to her bio, is ran by Gucci Gang. She also notes that once she hits 10 million followers on the social media platform, she'll get a "Gucci Gang face tatt." How charming.
Lil Tay was first catapulted onto the scene after a highly-publicized physical confrontation between the YouTuber Woah Vicky and reality TV personality turned rapper Danielle Bregoli, more famously known as "Cash Me Outside" girl. The prepubescent Internet star can be seen in the background of the fight screaming expletives, acting as a hype man of sorts. It would be funny, if it weren't so tragic.
As to what the future has in store for Lil Tay, no one can be sure. We suggest graduating middle school as a fine start.
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