So heartbreaking. Vanessa Bryant took to Instagram to explain how she is coping two weeks after her husband, Kobe Bryant, and her 13-year-old daughter, Gianna, died in a helicopter crash on January 26. “I’ve been reluctant to put my feelings into words. My brain refuses to accept that both Kobe and Gigi are gone,” the 37-year-old captioned a video of her daughter laughing with a friend on the basketball court. “I can’t process both at the same time.”

“It’s like I’m trying to process Kobe being gone, but my body refuses to accept my Gigi will never come back to me,” she continued. “It feels wrong. Why should I be able to wake up another day when my baby girl isn’t being able to have that opportunity?! I’m so mad. She had so much life to live. Then I realize I need to be strong and be here for my three daughters. Mad I’m not with Kobe and Gigi, but thankful I’m here with Natalia, Bianka and Capri.”

Vanessa Bryant With Gigi on Instagram
Courtesy of Vanessa Bryant/Instagram

Vanessa added she is not doing well during this tough time in her life. “I know what I’m feeling is normal. It’s part of the grieving process,” she shared. “I just wanted to share in case there’s anyone out there that’s experienced a loss like this. God, I wish they were here, and this nightmare would be over. Praying for all of the victims of this horrible tragedy. Please continue to pray for all.”

Of course, fans immediately commented on her message and offered their condolences. One person wrote, “Stay strong,” while another echoed, “[Gianna] was gonna be the GOAT. I could see it.” A third person chimed in, writing, “It hurts my heart to see you go through this. The pain is indescribable.”

This is hardly the first time Vanessa has posted about her late husband and daughter. On February 8, she captioned a video of her youngest daughter, Capri, as she tried to stand up for the first time. “My Koko Bean. She looks just like my Gigi with her daddy’s eyes,” she captioned the cute clip.

Prior to that, Vanessa spoke out for the first time following the tragic incident. “There aren’t enough words to describe our pain right now,” she wrote on January 29. “I take comfort in knowing that Kobe and Gigi both knew that they were so deeply loved. We were so incredibly blessed to have them in our lives. I wish they were here with us forever. They were our beautiful blessings taken from us too soon.”

Bryant, Gianna along with seven other people — Payton Chester, 13, Alyssa Altobelli, 14, Keri Altobelli, 36, John Altobelli, 57, Christina Mauser, 38, Sarah Chester, 46, and Ara Zobayan, 50 — were on the way to Thousand Oaks for basketball practice at Bryant’s Mamba Academy, but unfortunately, they never made it to their destination.

Since then, people all over the world have shared tributes to the former Los Angeles Lakers player and the eight other victims. Vanessa announced there would be a “Celebration of Live” event honoring Gianna and Bryant at the Staples Center in Los Angeles on February 24. “#2, #24, #20 years as a Laker, and the amount of years Kob and I were together,” she captioned the announcement on Instagram.

Vanessa bryant Wearing Red Lipstick With Kobe Bryant
Courtesy of Vanessa Bryant/Instagram

We are thinking of everyone during this time.

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