She may have lashed out at Jordyn Woods while the model’s cheating scandal with Tristan Thompson was exploding in front of our eyes, but Khloé Kardashian doesn’t actually blame her for what went down. Or, more accurately, she doesn’t blame just her. In a new clip from the Keeping Up With the Kardashians season finale, Koko chats with big sis Kim Kardashian about how she’s handling everything. As Keeks attempts to guide her through her emotions — and the resulting backlash they’ve had — Khloé admits that what she said isn’t actually representative of how she feels.

“I know you have this aggression towards so many people that you trusted that [were] in your life for years at a time,” Kim, 38, starts in the clip. “I guess you had to go through the motions. It just sucks that it’s so public to go through it like that, and then it’ll, you know, cause you to tweet and then you’re like, ‘S–t, that’s not what I should’ve done.'” Khloé, 35, agrees, saying, “The world took that so literally. … I would never blame solely one person for that; there’s a multitude of things. So I feel bad even though Jordyn played a part. I do feel bad if anyone would think I was putting the sole blame on her.”

Khloé continues, clarifying, “That’s not the truth. And I only like to speak my truth.” The clip also gave some insight into why the Kardashians decided to share the whole messy, “f–ked up situation” on camera. Like Kim said on Twitter, it’s “uncomfortable” to relive and air publicly — but they’ve always lived their lives in front of their audience. And for Khloé, it’s an opportunity to model for her fans how you can make it through something like this.

“Emotionally, you have to be really, really strong for this environment that we’ve created,” Khloé says in the KUWTK finale. “I know, as much as these people hurt us, I also know that, if this can make them better, and if I can be that person, I know i’m strong enough to do that. It just sucks it has to be so public,” she continues. “No one understands how I’m not just a TV show. Like, this is my life, and it breaks my soul and it’s happened so many times.”

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