Jill Dillard (née Duggar) is set to tell all about her estrangement from her parents – mom Michelle Duggar and dad Jim Bob Duggar – in her upcoming memoir, Counting the Cost, a source familiar with the book exclusively tells In Touch.

Jill, 32, ​will go in-depth about what led to the fallout between her, Michelle, 56, and Jim Bob, 58, in her upcoming book.

The former Counting On star “understands” her mother better now that she is an adult than she did when she was a child, ​ the insider notes. However, the complex relationship she now has with her mom is not what it once was. Jill “misses” how easy it used to be for her to communicate with her mother before their estrangement. 

When it comes to her father, Jill “never doubted” that Jim Bob loves his kids. ​According to the source, the mother of three will dive into her current relationship with her parents ​in her memoir, set to be released on Tuesday, September 12.  

Jill has been vocal in the past about her strained relationship with her family, most recently during her appearance in the Prime Video documentary Shiny Happy People: Duggar Family Secrets where she revealed that her dad “[controls] a lot of things in the family.” 

“Family relationships were already kinda rocky … Everything within the family dynamic has shifted, and not for the better,” she said, with her husband, Derick Dillard, adding, “We’re very much on the outside with the family.” 

After fans praised the former 19 Kids & Counting star for her bravery, however, Jill responded saying, “Thanks. I love my parents.”

While her relationship with her parents seems to be heading in a positive direction, Jill previously opened up about “distancing” from her famous family in an October 2020 YouTube video, claiming to not be “on the best terms” with some of the Duggars. 

“We’ve had some disagreements and stuff, but we’re working towards healing definitely and restoration. We’re having to kind of just take some time and heal and just doing what’s best for our family right now,” she said at the time. “We are praying and trusting God that like the timeline is his and what that looks like and everything. So we definitely appreciate your prayers, and we don’t want to go into detail too much.”

The mother of three – who shares sons Israel, Samuel and Freddy with her husband – told People later that month that she “never expected this to happen or for it to get to this point.”

“I’m realizing I can’t put a timeline on healing. I love my family and they love me. I really just have to follow God’s lead and take it one day at a time,” she added. 

In a follow-up video, Jill and Derick, 34, noted that they had not visited Jim Bob, 58, and Michelle “in a couple of years.” She went on to explain that there were “a lot of triggers” at her parents’ home and “restrictions” in place, although she did not go into detail at the time.

“In this season of life, we have to prioritize our mental [and] emotional health and all that. Our threshold — as we like to call it — is just a little bit lower in this season of life for us,” Jill added. “We have a lot going on in our own life, plus COVID just makes it a lot harder right now with trying to keep our circle smaller and everything.” 

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