Spill the Tea! Everything Derick Dillard Has Said About the Duggar Family and ‘Counting On’

Volunteering

One of the most shocking revelations the former Counting On star shared about the show is that he and Jill were never paid for filming. “For a long time, Jill and I were under the impression that the family didn’t make any money from the show, but, rather, it was presented to us kids as something that was done as a ministry that TLC periodically subsidized in the form [of] reimbursements for things like gas, restaurants, travel, etc. … But not any actual pay on top of that,” he wrote.

Birth Specials

That included special episodes, like when one of the Duggar kids had a kid of their own. Derick famously caught flack from fans for asking the network to reimburse the Dillards for their hospital bills after younger son Sam was born, but in hindsight his beliefs about the family getting reimbursed make the request seem more reasonable. “I thought it was fair to ask in negotiating,” he said in October 2019. “TLC made lots of money in filming a birth special episode, and they had not offered to pay us anything. … I thought, at the very least, they could reimburse [$5,000-$10,000] for medical expenses. TLC sure made more than that off of us.”

No Contact

Beyond that (public) ask, Derick says he “never had any contact with TLC.” He claimed, “Nobody from TLC has even mentioned to us what they would prefer that we say or not say.” That’s because all legal conversations went through father-in-law Jim Bob Duggar.

Contract Negotiations

In November 2019, the father of two told fans his wife’s dad “negotiated” contracts “for everyone, but without telling anyone.” In December, he continued, “All of the shows have been under his contract, and he is the only one with a contract.”

New Show

On that note, he claimed that Counting On was just an extension of 19 Kids and Counting, not a totally new show. When fans claimed that the Duggars’ original show was canceled, he shot back that it “wasn’t, just renamed.” Though the original name of the series was Jill & Jessa: Counting On, Derick maintained “the show title has nothing to do with whose show it is or who owns/controls the contract.”

Whose Show

Because of that, he spilled that it’s actually Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar’s show — and that’s why they started appearing on the series again despite the controversy that led to the cancellation of 19K&C. “It’s their show,” Derick said. “We’ve only made guest appearances over the years for [a] wedding, birth, etc.” He thinks the kids should actually get their own spinoff show, one where they get to call the shots.

Big News

The fact that they weren’t in charge meant the kids didn’t get to decide when they shared their families’ updates. “We weren’t even allowed to be the first ones to announce our own life events — our marriage, expecting our baby, our genders of our children, our births — not by our own choice,” he said on Without a Crystal Ball. “If I had to do it all over again, I would’ve announced myself when we were expecting and things like that, even if I would’ve gotten in trouble.”

Forced Filming

Sharing their announcements on the show’s schedule wasn’t the only way they were pushed to participate against their will. The family tried to quit, but were “made to believe [they] didn’t have a choice” about when they could leave filming. The Dillards feared they “would be sued if [they] refused” to go along with the production. He continued, “It’s not going to look good for TLC when it’s exposed that they pressured an abuse victim to continue filming when we tried to quit, just so they could continue with Jill & Jessa: Counting On after 19K&C.” Once the couple finally did quit, the network “begged” them to come back, but “didn’t want to talk directly with [them] about why.”

Promo Photos

Even after they’d left the show, Counting On occasionally tried to include them in promotional materials, like one for a new season after Jill made a cameo during one of her sister’s labors. “We were not a part of the promotional for this,” Derick said. “They tried to force Jill to be in the promotional pic for this show, but we refused. So they just inserted other sisters from the home.”

Cut Out

That appears to have led to issues with the network. Though the Dillards have been spotted during other births and weddings, both they and the Kings were edited out of the episode that featured grandma Mary Duggar’s funeral. “The show is only about what TLC wants it to be about,” he said. “If there’s something about the family that they don’t want viewers to see, then they’ll just edit it out or create their own storyline.”

Off Screen

That extends to off screen storylines like Jill and Derick quitting. Many fans believe Derick was fired after his comments about Jazz, but he’s regularly set the record straight. After a fan repeated the claim in March 2020, he calmly responded, “I have to respectfully disagree.” His response seemingly also implied another commenter was right — and Jill’s parents had been “shunning” them.

Not Alone

The Dillards worry they’re not the only Duggar kids who were pressured into staying on the show. When asked about why other siblings haven’t stopped filming, the father of three said, “If it’s the same way it was for us, the others may be pressured into submission with threats of lawsuits [or] too deep into it/dependent or something else like that to speak up.”

Family Ties

Dependence on the family — financially or otherwise — can be a powerful motivator. The Dillards’ relationships with the rest of the Duggars seem to have suffered since they left the show. “Your family relationships are affected to this extent that you are on board with the family business,” Derick said. He hinted there was “extreme emotional pressure from within and without [the] family, which, unfortunately, [ended] with [a] painful burning of bridges” so that he could protect his own wife and children.

Household Visits

On that note, Jill and her family aren’t even “allowed” at her parents’ house when Jim Bob isn’t there to supervise. In December 2019, Derick revealed: “Jill even had to ask [her dad] permission to go over to the house to help her sister when she was in labor.” He explained, “Her sister wanted her help, but Jill couldn’t provide the assistance until [they] got it cleared with JB.” Though they still try to see the family “when they can” — and Michelle made a visit to their home for Israel’s fifth birthday — the relationship is clearly complicated.

Lashing Out

In July 2020, Derick claimed the show was still under Jim Bob’s control — and said the Duggar family patriarch “will attack the victims if they threaten his show,” explaining that he and Jill “were humiliated and threatened” when they first tried to quit. They were only allowed to leave once there were enough adult children on the show that it no longer mattered if they left. “Now, it’s not dependent on us anymore to keep the show going because more kids got married, so it’s more OK if we quit,” he claimed.

Serious Consequences

He also claimed the show “messed up” his family. “We’ve lived [through filming], and it’s awful,” he wrote. Thankfully, they’re getting help. “We’re in counseling now,” he told fans, adding the hashtag “#nomoreabuse.”

Politically Correct

He claimed the only reason TLC canceled 19 Kids and Counting was to save face with its audience — but they clearly didn’t care that much because they “brought it back” with a new title. “[They] canceled it to be politically correct, but then … the money was too good,” he said. “Money/ratings trump political correctness, which trumps losing money.”

Money Matters

In a separate comment, he even seemingly compared his father-in-law to Jeffrey Epstein. “We have to break this culture that cares more about money and ratings than protecting the most vulnerable,” he said. “[Jeffrey] Epstein already showed us that, if you have enough money, power and influence, you can get away with anything. Sadly, it doesn’t stop with him. There are many more stories in this world that are not too different existing in a culture where it can still thrive.”

Reaching Out

He also clarified that his issues lie solely with Jim Bob, not the rest of his Duggar relatives. When a fan asked him who he takes issue with, he responded that it was “just the ‘boss’” of the series. “It’s Jim Bob’s show,” he said.

Speaking His Truth

Derick intends to continue speaking out about the show. “People should address their issues, not sweep them under the rug,” he wrote. In “due time,” he intends to share everything he can. In the meantime, he’s thinking about debunking the TV show as it airs. “This show is not anything close to reality,” he told fans. “From what we’ve seen, [it’s] not accurate at all. Maybe I’ll start a livestream during episodes, critiquing what is really going on in real-time.”

Ongoing Estrangement

In a video on Jill and Derick’s YouTube page posted in March 2021, the couple admitted they have not visited Jim Bob and Michelle’s home in “a couple of years.”

Jill explained that “there are a lot of triggers” at the house, adding that her parents put “restrictions” in place.

“But also, we just feel in this season of life we have to prioritize our mental and emotional health and all of that,” Jill added about why she and Derick don’t visit Jim Bob, Michelle and her younger siblings.

She continued, “Our threshold — we like to call it — is a little bit lower in this season of life for us with a lot going on in our own lives.”

Slamming Jim Bob

“I used to have much respect for Jim Bob, as my father-in-law, and I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt for years,” Derick wrote via Facebook in December 2021 amid his father-in-law’s failed political campaign. “Unfortunately, it’s only become clearer to us over time just how deep this man’s manipulation and deceit will go for his own gain, at the expense of others.”

“When he says he cannot be bought, the truth is that he has a history of being a sellout to anything that he can personally profit from, and he will justify it however he wants to continue his personal agenda,” Derick continued.

Josh’s Sentencing

Following his brother-in-law being sentenced to more than 12 years in prison on child pornography charges, Derick, along with his wife, said they were “neither rejoicing nor disappointed by the sentence, but we are thankful it’s finally over.”

“The Bible clearly states that God effects justice and vengeance through the governing authorities. Though some believe Josh should have received a greater sentence and still fewer believe he should have received a lighter sentence, God has carried out his vengeance today for his unspeakable criminal activity,” their statement read.