Nearly one year after Little Women: Dallas star Emily Fernandez and her boyfriend Lontel Johnson lost their son Lontel Jahnar Johnson Jr. at just three months old, the couple is ready to try to get pregnant again. Last month, In Touch exclusively revealed in a sneak peek that the couple is using IVF in order to conceive, and she finally reached the step in the process where her doctor can transfer and implant the embryo in her uterus. Emily was awake for the procedure and her doctor assured her that he would tell her everything that he was doing throughout the process — but she almost immediately seemed visibly uncomfortable.

“In order to move forward with the procedure, the doctor has to use a metal speculum, but this speculum is not made for little people and this s–t hurts,” Emily explained in her confessional.

Their son passed away in August 2016 due to the health complications he experienced before and after he was born, including seizures, blood around his brain, and loss of vision and hearing. In September, Emily opened up to In Touch about mourning the loss of her son in the public eye. “It was extremely difficult because when he passed away, it had not played out yet on the show. People were still coming up to me asking how he was doing and what was going on — because on TV he was still in the hospital recovering and there was definitely a time we never expected anything like that to happen. It was hard, [with] people talking to [me] — and I didn’t want to be rude, but at the same time, I would break down,” she explained.

Emily — who originally stems from the Little Women: Atlanta franchise — offered some wise words to parents who may experience the same heartbreaking situation. “At the end of the day, no matter what the doctor says, go with what your heart says and don’t give up. Basically, he lived for three months, they told me the first month that it was pointless and he’s never gonna get anywhere — and to me, I didn’t care what they said,” she recalled.

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