Newsflash, Miley Cyrus is back to her normal self again. Or at least, she’s regaining the chill that allows her tongue to stay in her mouth for more than five seconds. Is it a strategic career move? A compromise to keep Liam Hemsworth in check this time around? Or has she simply cycled out of her rebellious phase? From professional catastrophe Lindsay Lohan to that literal child that was hanging around Scott Disick, Bella Thorne, the Disney Channel has birthed some of Hollywood’s most beloved train wrecks. But is there a scientific timeframe that could be applied to the Disney stars who went bad, or is it simply personal?
Well, we color coded the erratic behavior of some of the most infamous celebrities that were kicked out of the House of Mouse, showing the trajectory of how they got to code red (peak badness). Is it possible to get back into the green and have a Disney ending? Well, scroll down to see who has been welcomed back, and who, uh, is continuing to entertain America in a less family-friendly kind of way.
Rebellious Phase: Roughly a decade and counting
Disney Channel Claim to Fame: Get A Clue
Popular misconception: Lifesize is a Disney Channel Original movie.
Other popular misconception: We will ever have the Lindsay Lohan that starred in Mean Girls back.
The former Parent Trap and Freaky Friday darling burst onto the Hollywood party scene around the same time other parts of her burst. Whether it was puberty or plastic surgery LiLo’s boobs solidified her status as a regulation hottie. Then came the bleached blonde hair, the hang out seshes with Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie, and the perpetual slosh-face. We saw the train wreck coming, but who could anticipate all those car crashes? 2007 saw Lindsay totaling her vehicle and subsequently getting arrested for a DUI and possession of cocaine, and she hasn’t had much luck with the law since. Case and point:
At least she learned how to work her mugshot by 2013.
Watching Lindsay’s downward spiral has been a heart-wrencher because Mean Girls, that delightfully over-quoted film, should’ve marked a seamless transition from Disney Princess to bonafide actress. But NOPE, she’s botched every lip injection and comeback opportunity in the past decade. Since she hasn’t been arrested this week we put her on a soft orange alert right now, but we’re not encouraged by the peculiar behavior, bizarre accents, and weird Twitter pitch to make a _ Mean Girls _ sequel (about what?) with Emma Stone.
Oh, you magnificent disaster. Tl;dr, please stop trying to make 2004 Lindsay Lohan happen, it’s not going to happen.
Rebellious Phase: 12 years, going balls-to-the-wall in the last quarter (and counting)
Disney Channel Claim to Fame: Even Stevens
True story: Actual cannibal Shia LaBeouf has had some scrapes with the law prior to his paper bag/giant rattail days. Back in 2005 he was arrested for assault with a deadly weapon, and a smattering of other charming incidents including drunk driving and a garden variety of bar fights followed over the course of the next few years. But when he was called out for plagiarizing the Daniel Clowes comic Justin M. Damiano with his 2013 short film HowardCantour.com, it sent Shia on a downward spiral of bizarre AF behavior.
Like what the actual f-ck.
LaBeouf has been going hard with the performance art ever since, a body of work that ranges from “amusingly pretentious” to “uniquely disturbing,” all the while going hard on delinquent behavior when it looks like things may get boring. It was only this July that Shia was arrested (again) for some drunken erratic behavior (again), but this time around he added some racist remarks to spice things up. Sigh.
Rebellious Phase: Three years
Disney Channel Claim to Fame: Camp Rock
Demi is a unique case because while we all now know about her days in the red, it went mostly unseen. The former _ Camp Rock _ star has been super candid about her early struggles with bulimia, self-harm, alcoholism and cocaine addiction, but at the time it was kept under wraps.
Seriously, when you look back to 2008 and 2009 there’s only a baby’s whisper of gossip blogs that speculated she had been cutting; it was quickly lamp-shaded as indents from “gummy bracelets.” And even when she went to rehab in 2010 (after punching a back-up dancer) her publicist positioned it as a vague “emotional and physical issues” thing. Dark.
But for what it’s worth, Demi got a happily ever after. She exited rehab with a new lease on life, and has been sober ever since. Judging the X Factor, which is a legit show people’s parents watch, definitely helped. But the full green glow came back when she covered your niece’s favorite banger “Let It Go” off the Frozen soundtrack back in 2013. It doesn’t get more Disney than that.
Rebellious Phase: Three Years
Disney Channel Claim to Fame: High School Musical
Look, in retrospect, we totally understand the nude photo scandal of 2007. If you were a teenager who got a hold of peak Drake Bell’s phone number, there would be no other move. The problem at hand was that the images leaked when she was the fresh-faced star of Disney’s biggest tween franchise, and they made her prostrate herself at the altar. Vanessa sort of had to grin and bear it, approximately until her unceremonious breakup with Zac Efron in 2010.
Enter Vanechella, the festival-hopping pseudo-Bohemian flower-crown-wearing alter-ego of Vanessa, marking a brief era of Gabriella Gone Wild. That, and Harmony Korine’s Spring Breakers. You just can’t unsee Vanessa playing tonsil hockey with Ashley Benson and then a grill-mouthed, corn-rowed James Franco.
Bottom line? Aside from one nude photo scandal, one on-screen threesome (which even Hilary Duff has had, you guys) and an unfortunate flirtation with bindis and crocheted crop tops, Vanessa is hardly the most controversial Disney Channel star. To date, she doesn’t really do anything more extreme than your garden variety 28-year-old celebrity.
Rebellious Phase: Four Years
Disney Channel Claim to Fame: Hannah Montana
To recap what we’ve already covered, Miley had a few brief brushes with scandal before she started dancing with Molly. 2008 saw her half undressed in that kinda pervy Annie Leibovitz portrait for Vanity Fair](http://www.complex.com/style/2014/04/annie-leibovitz-talks-shooting-miley-cyrus-for-vanity-fair) and the 2010 video for “Can’t Be Tamed” (spoiler alert: she could be). But we all remember the moment Miley killed Hannah Montana and twerked all over the 2013 VMAs with a bunch of Satan’s Care Bears.
At the time, America was shell-shocked, but rewatching it now it’s more like, “Ok, cool, show us how much you hate your dad. Show us on Robin Thicke.”
Her tune started changing once she became a mentor on The Voice last year, a show your parents legit watch. And with the release of “Malibu” and Miley very literally going back to her roots, we guess she’s done being ridiculous, y’all!
Rebellious Phase: Approximately nine months to a year (and counting)
Disney Channel Claim to Fame: Shake It Up
In the grand scheme of things, it feels like Bella started rebelling literally last Thursday. In reality, her bad behavior seems to have spiked around the end of 2016. Between stripping down for Snapchat, sticking her tongue down everyone’s throat (also for Snapchat), and getting nipple (ouch) and septum (which is just objectively bad taste) piercings she’s gone from 0 to 100 real quick.
We’ll let you in on a secret though, this is still very much some “YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND THE REAL ME, MOM” level nonsense. Scott Disicking aside, Bella’s rebellion only seems intense because it’s getting documented in real time with an array of ever-changing hairstyles.
Come back to us when you have six mugshots, kiddo.
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