A dark chapter in her life. Courtney Stodden revealed that she attempted suicide in early 2019 in an emotional new YouTube video she posted on Monday, January 20. Now that her divorce from Doug Hutchison is finalized, the star said she is “feeling super strong” and is finally ready to share her story.

“It’s no secret that I’ve struggled with depression,” the Celebrity Big Brother alum began, discussing how she’s in the process of writing her book Blonde and Blue, which will chronicle her upbringing and rise to fame, as well as her tumultuous marriage.

“Today I also wanted to address something that I’ve been holding in out of fear — out of concern that I’m just going to be looked at completely differently,” the 25-year-old continued. “I attempted to commit suicide about a year ago and it was just a point where I didn’t see a way out of all of the pain and grief and like, craziness and insanity of my life.”

Courtney Stodden Reveals She Attempted Suicide Prior to Finalizing Her Divorce
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“Things happen behind closed doors, and I just feel like it all got too much for me,” Stodden explained. “I decided, in a really drunken state, that this was the best option.” The blonde beauty also noted how grateful she is that her “attempt failed.”

Stodden hinted that she tried to block out the memory, before sharing some heartbreaking details about what happened. “I took my jeans off and I wrapped it around the shower door, and I just prayed and the next thing I knew was that my head hit the toilet or something and the shower door broke … I still can’t believe that I did that,” she said.

The model noted how much it pained her to even consider taking her own life over people that had hurt her in the past. “They don’t deserve that … they don’t deserve my life,” she added. “I got to that point where I was just going to give up.”

Courtney Stodden Reveals She Attempted Suicide Prior to Finalizing Her Divorce
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Stodden later addressed how she married the Green Mile actor when she was only 16 years old. At the time, he was 50. The media personality said a lot went on between them over the years, but they will always have love for each other.

Looking ahead, the singer said she will be dropping a new song called “Drowning” and a video to go with it to further “express” herself post-split.

As far as the details of their divorce go, neither of them will get spousal support. Hutchison, now 59, gets the dog, the 2001 Jeep Wrangler as well as his SAG pension, while she will get the furniture and the funds from two of the checking accounts in her name, according to court documents obtained by In Touch.

Both also agreed the current terms are “final, irrevocable, and cannot be modified by court order in any amount or duration for any reason whatsoever, regardless of a change of circumstance of either or both of us for any reason or cause.”

After a judge signs off the paperwork, Stodden and Hutchison will be declared legally single by March 2020.

If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.

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