In just a few months, Courteney Cox and the Friends cast will celebrate the 30th anniversary of the hit sitcom’s debut. In May, they marked another hard-to-believe milestone. “It’s been 20 years since the series finale of Friends,” Courteney recently wrote on Instagram alongside a clip of the show’s emotional final scene. “I don’t know how we were able to act through all the tears. Forever grateful.”

It’s not all she’s been reflecting on lately. Ahead of her 60th birthday in June, Courteney is opening up about everything from coping with the shocking death of her late friend and costar Matthew Perry last fall to her secret regrets and the truth about her love life. After years of feeling like an “impostor,” she admits, “as I’m getting older, I do take more chances. I just go for things more. I’m more ambitious.” And more honest about her personal life. “Courteney is at a point where she just wants to be authentic, and she’s unapologetic about that, even if other people might not get it,” a source exclusively tells In Touch. “She doesn’t care what people think.”

That’s evident when she talks about how nearly seven months after Matthew drowned in his hot tub after succumbing to the acute effects of ketamine, she feels his presence. “He visits me a lot, if we believe in that,” she confides, adding, “I talk to my mom, my dad, Matthew. I feel like there are a lot of people who guide us. I sense Matthew’s around, for sure.”

While dealing with losing Matthew, Courteney has also been trying to make peace with being an empty nester. “It’s an adjustment,” she admits of Coco, 19, her daughter with ex-husband David Arquette, 52, leaving for college last fall. “I expected her to need [me] more than she does. I miss that girl every minute.” On an April podcast, Courteney admitted she wishes she’d done things differently while raising her only child. “I should have [trusted] myself, and I should have stepped in” when Coco insisted on dealing with issues on her own. “Earlier on, when she was a kid, or not even that many years ago, I wish I’d been a firmer parent.”

Courteney doesn’t want to have more regrets. She’s happily in love with musician Johnny McDaid, 47, for more than a decade, is leaning into her passions — the self-described clean freak is growing Homecourt, her line of luxury cleaning and household products — and is cherishing her oldest friendships, including those with the Friends cast. “After experiencing so much loss and love,” says the source, “Courteney knows how lucky she is.”

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