She’s speaking out about the next chapter. Exonerated alleged murderer Amanda Knox got candid for the first time since returning to Italy, the country that imprisoned her for four years, to speak before the Italy Innocence Project on June 15. The 30-year-old is concerned about how she’s being perceived in the world today — and how to create meaningful relationships in the wake of the tragedy she endured.

“I wonder if people would care about my experience beyond whether they think I’m guilty or innocent,” she told NBC News in an interview that airs October 4. “It’s hard to trust.”

Amanda Knox

For Knox, the disconnect, whether perceived or real, can be hard to swallow as she navigates through the aftermath of such devastation and trauma. “I’m a real human being too and I’m trying to do the best I can with what life has given me and this is my answer,” she continued. “And I don’t think I’m the most resilient person in the world. I just know that I take it day by day … Some days are really hard and some moments are really hard.”

Narrating footage of herself speaking in front of the audience she traveled to see — and losing her composure at the podium — she added, “I break my own heart every time I access what happened to me.”

Amanda Knox Married
Courtesy of Amanda Knox/Instagram

In order to process and continue to heal and help, Knox is now producing a true crime podcast with her fiancé, Chris Robinson. “I’m trying to think critically and compassionately and a lot of people think that you can only do one or the other,” she told the outlet. “You can either have compassion or you can be critical and I don’t think that’s the case at all, I think you can do both at the same time.”

Knox and her ex-boyfriend, Raffaele Sollecito, were accused of murdering Knox’s roommate, Meredith Kercher, in Perugia in 2007. In 2011, after four years of imprisonment, the evidence against the couple was determined to be flawed and unsubstantial, to which a second-level trial then found Knox and Sollecito not guilty. But it wasn’t until 2015 that the former flames were fully exonerated by the Italian Supreme Court. Knox immediately returned to the United States following her release.

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