Jill Duggar revealed that her parents, Jim Bob Duggar and Michelle Duggar, allowed her sister Jana Duggar to become one of Bill Gothard‘s “girls.”

In her memoir, Counting the Cost, Jill, 32, recalled that the Institute in Basic Life Principles (IBLP) leader Gothard, 88, personally invited Jana, 33, to visit and work at the organization’s headquarters in Chicago.

“We were new to the inner workings of IBLP, but we knew enough already to understand why it was only Jana who was invited,” Jill recalled in the book, which was released on Tuesday, September 12. “She was the only elder Duggar girl who was blond, and everybody knew that Mr. Gothard liked blond girls.”

She continued, “We’d joke about it, calling Jana one of ‘Gothard’s Girls.’ It didn’t occur to me at all how strange, unsafe, and unwise it was.”

Jill went on to admit that even if she had known to be concerned about the situation, she doubts she “would have been able to speak out against it.” The Counting On alum added, “I was still terrified of conflict and would do anything to avoid it.”

Jim Bob, 58, and Michelle, 56, raised their kids to follow IBLP teachings, which is a non-denominational Christian organization that has guidelines on how men and women should dress and offers homeschooling curriculums.

While the organization has faced backlash for how women are treated, more than 30 women accused Gothard of sexual harassment in 2014. He was placed on administrative leave and IBLP released a statement claiming that “no criminal activity” was found following an investigation. However, they added that “Gothard has acted in an inappropriate manner.”

Jill’s memoir is not the first time she has spoken out against IBLP. In June, she and her husband, Derick Dillard, shared their experiences with the organization in the Prime Video docuseries Shiny Happy People: Duggar Family Secrets.

More recently, the former TLC star continued to slam IBLP while speaking to People. “I really do think that IBLP is a form of a cult. I think that even if you remove the person in leadership, a lot of those same values and principles are still being taught, so it doesn’t fix the problem,” she said in an interview published on September 12. “I think that’s what some people think like, ‘Oh, we’ve removed Bill Gothard from the situation. It makes everything better.’ No, it changes and maybe adds a nice storefront to the picture, but it doesn’t change the overall principles that are still being taught and held to.”

Jill Duggar Reflects on Parents’ 'Unsafe' Decision to Let Jana Become One of Bill Gothard's 'Girls’
Courtesy of Jill Duggar/Instagram

She added that the “scary part” is having “to look deeper and see how does this affect people in the long run.”

“My dad even said somewhat recently on a family group text, he was like, ‘You owe your life to Mr. Gothard.’ I’m like, ‘No,’ I think that you just have to not look at the sugarcoating, or whatever,” Jill shared. “They try and gloss it up and repackage it. But you have to look at the long haul, how it really flushed out. What do these principles look like.”

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