Jill Dillard (née Duggar) is not holding back when it comes to sharing intimate details of her relationship with her parents in her upcoming memoir, Counting the Cost, as the former reality star detailed a near-physical altercation with her dad, Jim Bob Duggar.
“There have been some very hurtful things that have happened, and so we wanted to sort it all out. To have a good discussion together. We love y’all and I know we all hope to be able to restore family relationships very soon,” Jill, 32, said during a conversation with her parents, in an excerpt shared by People ahead of the book’s release. “In the time I’d spoken, Pops’ body language had shifted. … He was sitting very still, lips tight, eyes locked in a scowl that had been sculpted out of rock.”
According to Jill, Jim Bob, 58, said, “You sent me a text message, Jill. You said I was verbally abusing you. I was so offended by that, too. You know in your heart that’s not right. Are you going to apologize for that?”
When Jill remained silent, her father reportedly got “loud.” “There was an edge to it that I’d rarely heard,” she explained.
“Pops took a step toward me, closing the gap. It wasn’t a gesture of reconciliation. It was an act of aggression. He towered over me, his whole body fueled with anger. My face flushed red. My eyes filled with tears. Then there was a long, awful silence that I wanted to fill but just couldn’t yet,” she continued. “Pops’ voice was so loud in my ears. His words were like blows. I instinctively tried to protect myself and block him out. I curled up on my seat, trying to find safety in some kind of fetal position.”
“You know why you’re crying, don’t you? Your conscience is talking to you. That’s why,” Jill recalled her father saying. “‘You’re guilty!’ Pops was yelling, stabbing a finger at me, standing right over me.”
The 19 Kids & Counting alum – who is set to release her memoir with husband Derick Dillard on Tuesday, September 12 – will also discuss how growing up in the IBLP (Institute in Basic Life Principles) affected her childhood, including the strict dress code enforced by Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar, a source previously told In Touch.
The mother of three began incorporating less conservative clothing into her wardrobe after attending a church outside of IBLP, the insider added. After unexpectedly running into her siblings at a park while wearing leggings, news of her rule-breaking attire got back to her father who later confronted Jill about her choice.
According to the source familiar with Jill’s upcoming book, the Duggar patriarch concluded the conversation by giving Jill a book that explained the importance of dressing modestly. The insider shares that Jill was “embarrassed” and “humiliated” by the interaction.
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