The Official ‘Jersey Shore’ Dictionary: GTL, Grenades and More Guido Lingo Explained
Yeah, buddy! Though it’s been nearly a decade since we took our first trip down to the Jersey Shore, we’ve been left with an array of classic lines. And while certain acronyms and abbreviations have been burned into all of our brains and branded onto countless Seaside Heights boardwalk t-shirts, you may have forgotten what they actually mean. Now that the crew is having fun on Family Vacation, you should definitely brush up on those iconic phrases that have been immortalized in some of your favorite GIFs. But where do you start?
Well, we have you covered! From “gorilla juice head” to “pouf,” we defined some of the most common phrases, words, and important exclamations from the series.
Meaning: The most deadly (read: large and horrifying) variant of a grenade.
Beat Up the Beat
Meaning: An elaborate and usual collaborative variant of the “fist pump” in which the pumper in question starts banging the ground and then brings that pump up to the ceiling.
Meaning: A charming hair-spray-and-gel style popularized by DJ Pauly D that takes about 20 minutes to do (it comes out perfect every time).
Cabs Are Here
Meaning: A proto-Uber call to arms meant to assemble a group to an awaiting motor vehicle. Variants include the Italian, “taxi arrivato!” and Spanish, “taxi sono qui!”
Meaning: Down to… oh, come on, we’re sure you’ve been suckered into enough frat parties in your youth to remember what this one is.
Fist Pump, Pushups, Chapstick
Meaning: Not a mantra, but a way of life.
Gorilla Juice Head
Meaning: Any woman’s ideal man in the early aughts of the Jersey Shore. Tan, so muscled he probably has a hard time putting his arms down (the gorilla part) and jacked up on steroids (the juice head part).
Meaning: In the words of Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino, a “fat, ugly girl.” (see also: atomic bomb, landmine, grenade launcher).
Meaning: A larger, uglier girl (again, not our words) who is brought along to make a grenade look better by comparison.
Meaning: Pretty much any man who makes it on camera in this show, or charmingly defined by The Situation in this video, “It’s like a swag.”
Meaning: In the immortal words of Sammi “Sweetheart” Giancola, “a guidette is somebody who knows how to club it up, takes really good care of themselves, has pretty hair, cakes on makeup, has tanned skin, wears the hottest heels. Pretty much they know how to own it and rock it.”
Meaning: Gym, tan, laundry — an essential, everyday ritual for any good guido or guidette.
Meaning: An exotic form of nearly completely diagonal grinding which has the female in question doing some sort of handstand (ugh, sounds exhausting).
Meaning: A very charming terminology for Snooki’s… you know. Her nana. Her pinhole. Come on, guys.
Meaning: According to Mike, the thin version of a grenade.
Meaning: A tiny, booze-loving lady who just wants to have fun. Particularly refers to Snooki and Deena Cortese, could also refer to us if we doused ourselves in spray tan and drank too many margs at happy hour.
Meaning: A dynamic trio consisting of Mike, Vinny Guadagnino, and Pauly. Sometimes modified to MVPD to included Deena.
Meaning: A giant hair bump, usually haphazardly held in place by a plastic clip and half-deflated by your second drink at Karma. Also known as “the Snookit” via the hairstyle’s originator.
She’s Too Young For You
Meaning: …if she still has coloring books, if she’s got a basket on her bicycle, if she still has the parental controls on her TV in her bedroom, if she only owns Snow White on DVD, if her Keds still light up (bro).
Meaning: The thing that Rahn should be doing.
Meaning: This girl who followed Pauly around the boardwalk in the summer of 2012.
Also this chick who we’re sure had no trouble dating after this show aired.
Staten Island Dump
Meaning: A colorful nickname for poor Angelina “Staten Island” Pivarnick from Season 1 (and Season 2? Season 1 and a half?).
Meaning: Originally this referred to the gently mangled lower torso section that Michael Sorrentini called his abs, but it also encompasses mildly to extremely dramatic circumstances that would befall the Jersey Shore house.
Sunday Night Dinner
Meaning: An important weekly gathering where everyone eats baked ziti and occasionally unpacks whatever drama-of-the-episode plagued the beach house (like, you know, any good Italian family).
Meaning: The moment before you go out when you switch your white muscle shirt for a legitimate t-shirt (and look fresh to death, we guess).
Meaning: Pretty much the state of inebriation that got Snooki arrested, so if you’re going to get wasteypants, just try not to do it mid-day in front of your reality TV crew.
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