Demi Lovato Documentary: 'Dancing With the Devil' Revelations

Demi Lovato spoke her truth in a captivating new documentary, Dancing With the Devil, detailing her terrifying overdose, heartbreak and past trauma in the four-part special to be released via YouTube on March 23.

Lovato, 28, discussed the pressure she felt to maintain her image as a superstar and role model for her fans. The songwriter revealed that despite looking like she had it all together, that simply wasn’t the case as she opened up about the struggles she faced behind closed doors and in the limelight.

In the beginning, fans got to watch never-before-seen footage from a past documentary filmed during her “Tell Me You Love Me” world tour in 2018. “Anytime that you suppress a part of yourself, it’s gonna, like, overflow at some point,” the singer shared about the special, which caused her to hide many things about her personal life.”That’s ultimately what happened to me, in a lot of areas of my life.” The documentary was pulled following her overdose that July.

Lovato opened up about the day she was found unconscious at her home in Los Angeles, California, months after relapsing. At the time, she was hospitalized for almost two weeks before heading to a rehab and sober living facility for professional help. “I had three strokes,” the Camp Rock alum said in her documentary. “I had a heart attack. My doctors said that I had five to 10 more minutes [to live].”

The former Disney star said she learned to conceal her addiction over the years, which prevented those closest to her from seeing the signs. “None of my friends know what I was using. I kept it hidden from everyone,” Lovato confessed. “That was one thing I was very good at — hiding the fact that I was addicted to crack and heroin.”

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Among those featured in the doc are Lovato’s former creative director Dani Vitale, best friends Sara Elizabeth Mitchell (a.k.a. Sirah) and Matthew Scott Montgomery, as well as her former assistant Jordan Jackson.

“I’ve had so much to say over the past two years wanting to set the record straight about what it was that happened,” Lovato said. “I’ve had a lot of lives. Like my cat, you know? I’m on my ninth life.”

Scroll down to see the biggest revelations from Dancing With the Devil.

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Reckless Experimenting With New Substances

The New Mexico native reminisced on her April 2018 relapse, discussing the evening she reconnected with her former drug dealer at a party. “I just went to town. I went on a shopping spree. That night, I did drugs that I had never done before,” she said. “I had never done meth before, I tried meth. I mixed it with Molly, with coke, weed, alcohol, OxyContin. That alone should have killed me.”

Coming to Terms With Assault

Lovato revealed she was taken advantage of the night of her July 2018 OD. “When they found me, I was naked, I was blue,” she shared. “I was literally left for dead after [my dealer] took advantage of me, and when I woke up in the hospital, they asked if I had consensual sex. There was one flash that I had of him on top of me. I saw that flash, and I said yes. It actually wasn’t until maybe a month after my overdose that I realized, ‘Hey, you weren’t in any state of mind to make a consensual decision.'”

Losing Her Vision

The performer’s mother, Dianna De La Garza, feared losing her daughter that scary evening because Lovato not only had three strokes and a heart attack, but also pneumonia, as well as multiple-organ failure. She was also “legally blind” when she awoke.

“My little sister was at my bedside. I was so blind that I couldn’t see who she was even though she was standing next to me,” Lovato said about the moments after she woke up. “I asked [my sister], I was like, ‘Who are you?’ She just started sobbing.”

Why She Isn’t Fully Sober

The chart-topping artist admitted she “has been smoking weed and drinking in moderation,” despite being worried about fans judging her. “Telling myself that I can never have a drink or smoke marijuana, I feel like that’s setting myself up for failure because I am such a black and white thinker. I had it drilled into my head for so many years that one drink was equivalent to a crack pipe,” Lovato said, noting she still takes Vivitrol shots to reduce opiate cravings as a preventive measure.

“I don’t want people to hear that and think they can just go out and try having a drink or smoking a joint. It isn’t for everybody,” she added. “Recovery isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution. You shouldn’t be forced to be sober if you’re not ready. You shouldn’t get sober for other people.”

Rushing Into Romance

After getting engaged to Max Ehrich in July 2020, she opened up about the mental turmoil she felt prior to their September split. “The video I made earlier wasn’t an accurate representation of what I’m going through,” she shared. “I thought this whole time that I didn’t miss him. I just miss the person that I started quarantining with, and I don’t know how to give my heart to someone after this.”

“What happened?” Lovato continued. “I think I rushed into something that I thought was what I was supposed to do. I realized, as time went on, that I didn’t actually know the person that I was engaged to … I was just as shocked as the rest of the world at some of the things that were said and done.”

If you or someone you know is struggling with substance abuse, contact the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357).