“Hi again,” Chrissy, 35, titled her post. “I know I’ve been quiet, and Lord knows you don’t want to hear about me, but I want you to know I’ve been sitting in a hole of deserved global punishment,” she began.
She continued, “As you know, a bunch of my old awful (awful, awful) tweets resurfaced. I’m truly ashamed of them. As I look at them and understand the hurt they caused, I have to stop and wonder: How could I have done that?”
“I’ve apologized publicly to one person, but there are others — and more than just a few — who I need to say I’m sorry to. I’m in the process of privately reaching out to the people I insulted,” the mother of two wrote.
Chrissy made headlines in May when her old tweets bullying model Courtney Stodden resurfaced. Courtney, 36, claimed to The Daily Beast that “[Chrissy] wouldn’t just publicly tweet about wanting me to take ‘a dirt nap’ but would privately DM me and tell me to kill myself. Things like, ‘I can’t wait for you to die.’… She has sent me so many different tweets. Private DMs, up ’til a couple years ago. It’s so damaging when you have someone like Chrissy Teigen bullying children.”
Chrissy added in her letter, “There is simply no excuse for my past horrible tweets. My targets didn’t deserve them. No one does. Many of them needed empathy, kindness, understanding and support, not my meanness masquerading as a kind of casual, edgy humor. I was a troll, full stop. And I am so sorry.”
She also revealed that she felt “insecure” and “immature” when she first started using social media. “Now, confronted with some of the things that I said, I cringe to my core. I’ll honestly get sharp, stabbing pains in my body, randomly remembering my assh*** past, and I deserve it. Words have consequences and there are real people behind the Twitter handles I went after,” the Cravings author confessed. “I wasn’t just attacking some random avatar, but hurting young women — some who were still girls — who had feelings.”
She admitted that she underwent therapy and “isn’t the victim here.”
“The truth is, I’m no longer the person who wrote those horrible things. I grew up, got therapy, got married, had kids, got more therapy, experienced loss and pain, got more therapy and experienced more life. AND GOT MORE THERAPY,” Chrissy said.
Chrissy reached out to Courtney after the latter’s interview was published. Chrissy tweeted out an apology to the model on May 12 and wrote, “Not a lot of people are lucky enough to be held accountable for all their past bulls**t in front of the entire world. I’m mortified and sad at who I used to be. I was an insecure, attention seeking troll. I am ashamed and completely embarrassed at my behavior but that is nothing compared to how I made Courtney feel. I have worked so hard to give you guys joy and be beloved and the feeling of letting you down is nearly unbearable, truly. These were not my only mistakes and surely won’t be my last as hard as I try but god I will try!!”
She added, “I have tried to connect with Courtney privately but since I publicly fueled all this, I want to also publicly apologize. I’m so sorry, Courtney. I hope you can heal now knowing how deeply sorry I am. And I am so sorry I let you guys down. I will forever work on being better than I was 10 years ago, 1 year ago, 6 months ago.” Later that day, Courtney took to Instagram and claimed that they have yet to actually hear from Chrissy or her team regarding a private apology.
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