We all make mistakes. Ben Affleck is finally addressing his infamous Halloween party relapse in a new tell-all interview. The 47-year-old actor got candid about life after his slip-up and feeling ashamed for his actions.

“Relapse is embarrassing, obviously,” he told the New York Times. “I wish it didn’t happen. I really wish it wasn’t on the internet for my kids to see. Jen and I did our best to address it and be honest.”

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Ben continued to discuss his struggles with addiction and how the disease is hereditary. “There’s a lot of alcoholism and mental illness in my family. The legacy of that is quite powerful and sometimes hard to shake,” he admitted. “It took me a long time to fundamentally, deeply, without a hint of doubt, admit to myself that I am an alcoholic,” Ben added. “The next drink will not be different.”

Back on October 26, Ben appeared to be very intoxicated as he left the UNICEF Masquerade Ball in West Hollywood. The actor looked disheveled and off-balance in a video from the night obtained by TMZ. The following day, the actor acknowledged the incident to the cameramen outside of his exes’ home. “Well, you know, it happens. It’s a slip, but I’m not going to let it derail me,” he said to photographers. When asked if he would go back to rehab, he chose not to respond.

Prior to the actor’s relapse, he celebrated a year of sobriety. His set back was hard on the whole family, especially his ex-wife, Jennifer Garner. “Jen is furious with Ben,” a source told In Touch exclusively. “Ben is an addict and alcoholic and he had a full-on relapse, and it’s very serious,” the insider close to the 13 Going on 30 actress said. “She knows what she’s dealing with here. She hates that Ben did it in public too, mainly because of their children, who are at ages where they hear things in school from other kids. Her main goal is to protect her kids.”

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