Vanderpump Rules stars Tom Schwartz and Katie Maloney “were both” at Lala Kent‘s daughter Ocean’s first birthday party on Saturday, March 12, “despite the breakup,” a source exclusively tells In Touch.

“They seemed like they were on good terms, but weren’t hanging out together,” the insider adds of the celebration attended by other VPR costars.

“Friends said they have just grown apart,” the source admits. “They were so young when they got married, and it’s just been a whirlwind with the show and how much their lives have changed.”

Before both attending the party, Tom confirmed that he and Katie had parted ways after 12 years as a couple and almost three years of marriage.

Taking to his Instagram, Tom outlined the reason behind their split in a lengthy statement on Tuesday. “Well, this sucks. How am I supposed to capture 12 years of love in a f—king canned Instagram caption. What picture am I supposed to use? Is there a go-to breakup font?” he wrote.

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Mandatory Credit: Photo by Broadimage/Shutterstock (10502455ca)
Katie Maloney and Tom Schwartz
Fancy AF Cocktails book premiere, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA – 10 Dec 2019

“Wanted to clear the air on some rumors floating around. Katie and I are separating,” he admitted.  “I’m not quite ready to use the ‘D’ word because it’s too painful. Yes, my heart aches but I’ll be ok. Not looking to evoke any sympathy here. I’m not the victim. Not gonna write too sad a song.

Tom added that he “fully” respected “Katie’s decision and we’ve had healthy, productive conversations about it. It would be far sadder if she decided to stay with me whilst not happy.”

“After 9 years on a reality TV show it feels a little tone def to say ‘please respect our privacy’ (especially while posting this) so instead I’ll ask to please be kind. I don’t fault you for any snap judgment. If I was watching us on VPR for the last 9 years, I’d be making them too,” he said of how their romance, which began in 2010, played out on the long-standing reality series. “Perception gets skewed bc of seeing snippets of our lives on the show, but I’m telling you we had some of the most blissful, romantic, fun times humanely possible over the course of our relationship. I’m talking heaven on earth level joy.”

Of his estranged wife, Tom wrote that she “taught me so much about love and being a better partner,” adding, “It’s hard not to feel like a statistic. Another failed marriage. I don’t look at it as a failure. As sad as I am, still happy to say there’s no anger or bitterness. Zero. Still so much love for you @musickillskate. And your family.”

Tom added about their past and future, “I don’t think we were ever a model couple. Maybe we are model divorcees. A dubious title I suppose. Also, I’m aware of the tragedies taking place in the world right now, I have perspective here. I’ll be fine. So I’ll shut up now and say it one last time, love you, Bub. Always and forever, you’ll be in my heart. On my ass? Maybe not so much.”

Tom and Katie walked down the aisle in a romantic ceremony in Northern California, in 2016, which was officiated by their boss, Lisa Vanderpump.

However, since Tom failed to file their marriage certificate, they wed for a second time in a July 2019 Las Vegas Western-themed wedding attended by their castmates.

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