The 49-year-old’s conversation was released on the magazine’s “Yes, Girl!” podcast on Thursday, May 9. First, the “I’ll Be Missing You” crooner was asked how he was going to honor Kim this Mother’s Day. “Mother’s Day is going to hurt. We are definitely going to celebrate, you know, all the mothers,” he said. “We’re not going to get in the way of that.”
Of course, the New York native revealed that it’s not easy for anyone to move on from a tragic death in the family. “You know, honestly, anybody that’s lost a mother, lost a soulmate, it takes time, it takes time … They say time heals all wounds … when it comes to your mother or your mothers, I don’t think that’s the case. And that’s not a negative thing, ‘cause as people we need wounds … [you] need something to sting you sometimes, forever.”
Diddy went on to say that he is still in the healing process. “I don’t know what I’m gonna do,” he cried. “I’ll figure something out, though. It just hurts so much. I know that people wanna hear, like, the good stuff, but … it hurts. Ain’t no way around that.”
The dad of six didn’t even know if he could continue with the conversation since he was so upset about losing Kim. “I wanted to do [the interview] ‘cause I wanted to let everybody know just how special, like, all the mothers are … and how, like, I don’t think anybody could ever understand, like, how hard it is to be a black mother.”
Kim died at just 47 years old from lobar pneumonia on November 15. The former flames dated for 13 years before they split in 2007, but they still had a strong connection. The duo shared three children together — twin girls Jessie James and D’Lila Star, 12, and a son, Christian Combs, 21.
“It was definitely, a total shock and a surprise,” he revealed about her sudden passing. “It really, really, really woke me up … It’s the craziest, like, most traumatic thing I’ve ever … been through.”
After Diddy learned the news, he knew he had to be the best parent for his kids. “Nothing came before my family before, but of course there would be a couple of dates I would miss or some things I would miss because I was so into my work,” he said. “I always loved them as a father, but from a mother’s perspective, the kids come first, and that’s it. It’s nothing else that really matters from a mother’s perspective.”
“I’m trying to step into my mommy/daddy role and also accept help,” he added. “I had to immediately tap into my feminine side and my protective side. The emotions are at such a level … I’ve never actually felt emotions like this. My heart was never open like this.”
However, in the end, the Grammy winner realized everything was meant to happen this way. “I don’t have no regrets how things went,” he confessed. “They went the way God wanted them to go, but I was playing with love. It’s not really to be played with. I definitely took for granted that she would be with me forever. I took for granted that something like this could happen.”
We’re sending lots of love to Diddy during this difficult time.