Despite all the media attention on the Menendez brothers lately — the two have been the subjects of several made-for-TV specials, both scripted and unscripted — Erik Menendez has remained incredibly quiet compared to his brother, Lyle, who gave countless interviews including one with  20/20’s Truth and Lies: The Menendez Brothers, earlier this year. But all that’s about to change, as Erik gave his first interview in well over a decade — in an effort to put the “truth” out there.

The 46-year-old gave his first interview as part of an upcoming A&E documentary titled The Menendez Murders: Erik Tells All. Check out the video to hear what Erik has to say about murdering his parents more than two decades ago.

Erik and Lyle have always maintained that they were driven to kill their parents as a result of the years of abuse they sustained at the hands of their father. In his first interview in decades, Erik continued to stick by his story — while sharing his remorse about what happened to his parents, Kitty and José, on Aug. 20, 1989.

“From the moment after, I wanted to go back in time and take back everything that Lyle and I did. It was so wrong,” he said. “I didn’t want my parents dead, I just wanted the abuse to stop. Years and years of pain exploded that night in unimaginable violence. It is my own personal hell.”

Though he’s remained unusually quiet in the public eye, he said he has good reason for speaking out now. “My only hope in speaking out is that people may have a more complete understanding. A more complete undertanding of the events that led up to my actions on the night of Aug. 20, and really a fuller picture of what happened in my life,” he explained. “All I can hope for is that people will come to realize that the trust is not a simple, one-line explanation that mny people have tried to make it out to be. That really, my life was this unfolding of a complicated life that I lived had all of these things that came into being and that led up to my involvement and responsibility for what is an ongoing and enduring family tragedy.”

The Menendez Murders: Erik Tells will premiere Nov. 30 on A&E.