She’s come a long way. Drew Barrymore kept it real while discussing her past cocaine use during a candid new interview, revealing that she first tried the drug when she was 12. The Golden Globe winning actress was asked about her battle with addiction, being a child star, and how growing up in the spotlight impacted her.

Drew revealed that she doesn’t miss doing cocaine in the least while appearing on Norm Macdonald Has a Show, which premiered on Sept. 14 via Netflix. “No. Oh, God. I mean, it’s been a very long time, but no,” she said. “Nothing would make me have a panic attack and seem like a bigger nightmare.” After clarifying that she never used heroin or hallucinogens, Drew revealed the reason why. “I think I liked to feel good. I’m an upper person. You know, I’m like, ‘Woo hoo!’ I also didn’t want to be like, ‘Man, I see s–t.’” 

View this post on Instagram

Such a nice way to spend a Sunday.

A post shared by Drew Barrymore (@drewbarrymore) on

The Santa Clarita Diet star, 43, previously revealed that she used to smoke pot, and she even referred to herself as a “party girl” at only eight-years-old. By the age of 12, she had already experienced her first stint in rehab and one year later, she had another 18-month stint in a hospital, where she was treated for an alcohol and drug addiction. Being a child star is “a recipe for disaster,” Drew said, but she made the best of it. “I got my s–t over with at, like, 14,” she recalled. “Midlife crisis, institutionalized, blacklisted, no family. I got it done.”

Drew said she does have a drink socially every once and a while. “I enjoy my life and get out of my own head,” she explained. “It’s not like I’m this militant person of clarity and presence, but [cocaine] literally seems like my worst nightmare right now. I will not drink my drink at a bar that has not been in my line of vision or, like, the side cornea.”