This is absolutely devastating.

Little Women: LA star Christy McGinity Gibel is opening up about suffering from a mini-stroke after having neck surgery last November.

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“I am not the same, and may never be,” the 39-year-old tells Radar. “Every day is an uphill battle to do things in my life that I took for granted, like speaking.”

Christy went under the knife to replace two damaged discs — though it was the first time it was performed on a little person, she didn’t expect to have any trouble recovering. However, it was the “normal” side effects that caused the unthinkable for the reality star.

Calling it “the worst pain [she] ever felt,” the road to recovery has been a difficult one for Christy, who is working with specialists to regain “basic life skills” and will likely be working on it for a long time to come.

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As the “mama bear” of her family (Christy lives with her daughter Autumn and her husband Todd), taking a back seat during her recovery was especially heartbreaking, she explains.

“How can I take care of my family? I am still the mama bear of the house, and expected to run it — sick or not,” she gushes. “Am I ever going to be ‘Christy’ again? The constant setbacks really played with my mind. They still do.”

After her surgery, Christy thanked her fans for supporting her on Instagram — and hinted that something else was wrong.

“To all my family, friends, and adored fans, thank you for all the prayers,” she wrote. “It has been such a rough road for me and my wonderful husband, daughter, mother, and father who have been taking care of me 24 hours nonstop since my surgery. Although spinal surgery is tricky to begin with, this was the first procedure of its type on a little person. I expected to be fully healed by now and back to normal. Sadly, that is not the case.”

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Hopefully, Christy will be fully recovered soon.

Be sure to tune in to Lifetime at 9 p.m. tonight for a brand new season of Little Women: LA!

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