After former Bachelor star Chris Soules was involved in a fatal car accident nearly two and a half years ago, the reality star is getting candid about the incident that changed his life forever. “The trauma of being involved in [the accident] is something I cannot describe,” the 37-year-old told People magazine in an interview published on Wednesday, September 4. “I think about it every day.”

On April 24, 2017, the ABC alum rear-ended a man named Kenneth Mosher who was driving a tractor, and the impact from the crash ultimately killed him. However, Chris is finally setting the rumors straight about what actually happened that night. Chris drove in his pickup truck to get one of his workers from his family’s farm to take him to the main office. “The next thing you know, I’m coming to inside my pickup,” he said. “I heard a voice [of a man who had witnessed the accident] saying, ‘Call 911.’”

While on the phone, Chris started to give Kenneth CPR per the dispatcher’s instructions. “I was giving chest compressions and continued to do CPR until eventually I spat out [Kenneth’s] blood,” he explained. “He coughed up blood in my mouth. At that point, I thought it didn’t seem to be doing a lot of good. I was scared. And I remember thinking he might not make it.” After the paramedics arrived at the scene, “I remember praying [that he would be OK],” he recalled.

Chris Soules Mug Shot After His Car Accident
AP/Shutterstock

After the accident, Chris got into a different truck — which was driven to the scene by one of his workers — and drove himself home. “I was out of my mind,” he admitted. “I felt like I did everything in my power when I was there, and I didn’t know what else to do. I didn’t know what happened. I didn’t know anything. I just knew it was really bad, and I was scared.”

The Iowa native called an attorney afterward who told him not to talk to the police until the attorney was present. “I just followed his instructions,” he said. “And I wasn’t expecting police at my door. In hindsight, I was charged with a crime. But I really didn’t know that there were grounds for arrest at that point.”

Chris was arrested and charged with leaving the scene of an accident resulting in serious injury — an aggravated misdemeanor. Court records revealed Chris had bought beer earlier on the day of accident, but Chris explained that he buys food and beverages for all of his employees.

In August, Chris was sentenced to a “suspended two-year term of incarceration” as well as a $625 fine in addition to paying fees and court costs. Ultimately, Chris still thinks about that tragic day. “I saw some dark times,” he revealed. “I’m in the middle of nowhere as it is, and I was even deeper in the isolation and the guilt. I thought many times that it would have been easier on the other side.”

Chris Soules Wearing a Leather Jacket With Brown Shoes at an Event
Brian To/Variety/Shutterstock

Now, Chris is looking to close this chapter of his life. “There is not a day that goes by that I don’t wish I could have done more or change the outcome of what happened,” he said. “My outlook on life has changed forever.” Chris is also hoping that he can mourn Kenneth with the Mosher family down the line. “I’ll live with [what happened] forever,” he confessed. “But I will carry on, and as a result of the tragedy, do something bigger and better with my life.”

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