Hearing Here Comes Honey Boo Boo was canceled was bittersweet for the show’s young protagonist, Alana Thompson.

In a new interview with Oprah Winfrey for Oprah: Where Are They Now?, the 10-year-old opened up about what it was like hearing the show was no longer being filmed.

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“I woke up one morning, and I was like, ‘Where’s the crew?’ and my mom was like, ‘We stopped filming the show,’” she said. It was a mix of emotions for the one-time pageant queen, who added, “I was kind of happy, but at the same time I was sad. So I was kind of sa-happy?”

Here Comes Honey Boo Boo was canceled in late 2014 after it was revealed that Alana’s mom, June Shannon, was in a relationship with a convicted sex offender who once molested Alana’s oldest sister, Anna.

You can catch Alana on Oprah: Where Are They Now? Saturday, April 30, at 10 p.m.

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