Deceased football player Aaron Hernandez confessed his true feelings for his prison lover, Kyle Kennedy, in a shocking jailhouse letter exposed in a new book about his life. In Aaron Hernandez’s Killing Fields, investigative journalist and author Dylan Howard published the letter the former New England Patriot player penned to Kennedy, who went public with their prison relationship after the star’s suicide in 2017.
The letter hinted at a revelation Hernandez reached after the two lovers began a relationship. “I just wanted to tell you this morning that I love you. You never have to question us. I will stop questioning you and us. I realized through our thing over the past few days how much I love you and how much I want you and us,” the book claimed Hernandez wrote.
In the letter, Hernandez confessed to struggling with his own demons – and even hinted at the horrific thought of taking his own life, which would later become his reality.
“You told me you didn’t want to be on the block anymore. Did you really mean that? I mean, I’ve said way worse, so I understand, but still, it made me almost hang myself. I can’t even imagine them separating us.”
Following Hernandez’s death, reports revealed that he was intimate with men. The late athlete’s brother, Jonathan Hernandez, later confessed in his own memoir that the professional athlete was sexually abused as a child.
The jailhouse note included Hernandez’s wish to be closer to Kennedy. He also implied that his relationship with Kennedy within the confines of the Souza-Baranowski Correctional Center in Massachusetts was keeping him afloat.
“I miss you so much. You should be awake, knowing you sleep all f–king day, LOL. I just wish we were cellmates, so I could at least kiss you on the forehead and say I love you. Then let you sleep while I make sure you have your coffee ready when you wake up,” Hernandez continued.
Read the shocking, unedited letter in its entirety:
“I just wanted to tell you this morning that I love you. You never have to question us. I will stop questioning you and us. I realized through our thing over the past few days how much I love you and how much I want you and us. Mainly how I want you [to] know what real love, real loyalty is, and to experience someone who is with you through all in life. We will have ups and downs. Times of some pain and suffering, but together we will make it right. I’m sorry for overreacting, but it’s something I have to work on, because I’m used to being done dirty my whole life.
“I know I have my own issues as we all do, but you could always keep it real with me, too. It will help me grow, too. Just know I’m here for you to help you through all in life. I’ve got your back, your front, your side and you for eternity. I know I’m going to go through hell dealing with you in life, but I can’t even give up on you, because that’s the type of love I have. Now you see why love is my weakness in life and how I go so far for the ones I have love for. All your issues are and will always be my issues. We will try to avoid all with respect, but if your crazy mouth gets you into s–t, I’ll be there always, even though I’m going to want to beat your ass after, LOL. Never question me or hide anything. That’s all I ask. I got you.
“I hope you have a great day. You will. Come to my door ASAP. I miss you so much. You should be awake, knowing you sleep all f–king day, LOL. I just wish we were cellmates, so I could at least kiss you on the forehead and say I love you. Then let you sleep while I make sure you have your coffee ready when you wake up. (Spoiled b—h!) I wouldn’t have it any other way. I truly love you that much. No words can describe it, nor will it ever, but I’m still stressing.
“You told me you didn’t want to be on the block anymore. Did you really mean that? I mean, I’ve said way worse, so I understand, but still, it made me almost hang myself. I can’t even imagine them separating us. I’ll feel like I’m missing all of me. F–k half of me. I love you that much. I just wanted you to begin this day knowing how loved you are and that you have someone through it all in life. Someone who will never not stand by you, not have your back, but only show you true love and true loyalty like you never experienced. I have you forever. I haven’t told you in a little, but you are perfect. I know I’m blessed to have you. I will let you know that forever, and, no matter what we have to overcome, we all have to grow in life. It’s a never-ending growth in life, but I’ll be with you through all of it. True ride or die.”
While he remained behind bars, Hernandez was engaged to the mother of his child, Shayanna Jenkins. Though his fiancée claimed in interviews after his death that he gave no indication that he was homosexual, Hernandez admitted to Kennedy that his feelings for him were real.
Hernandez’s tragic death was also followed by the confessions of his former high school lover, Dennis SanSoucie. The Bristol, Connecticut native claimed that he and Hernandez hid their romance from family and friends.
For more shocking revelations on Hernandez’s life and death, Aaron Hernandez’s Killing Fields is available for purchase now.
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