It’s been years since Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore broke up, but the actress revealed that she had a miscarriage with his child soon after they started dating in 2003. In an interview with The New York Times, which was published on Thursday, September 12, the 56-year-old explained that she was pregnant with a girl who she planned on naming Chaplin Ray. However, Demi lost the child about six months into the pregnancy. The Ghost alum confessed she started drinking again and told herself she was at fault for what had happened.

The brunette beauty and The Ranch actor, 41, got married in 2005, despite their 15-year age difference, but their relationship took a turn for the worse. Demi hoped to get pregnant again, so she tried fertility treatments. Unfortunately, Demi — who is the mom of three daughters: Rumer, 31, Scout, 28, and Talluluah, 25 — turned to alcohol again and even abused Vicodin. In that time, Demi learned that Ashton was unfaithful to her.

So, why exactly did Demi decide to date a much younger guy? The G.I. Jane starlet said she was enjoying “a do-over, like I could just go back in time and experience what it was like to be young, with him — much more so than I’d ever been able to experience it when I was actually in my twenties.”

Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore Miscarriage
Gregory Pace/BEI/Shutterstock

Ultimately, the former flames separated in 2011 and got a divorce two years later. Ashton went on to marry Mila Kunis — his former That 70’s Show costar — in 2015, and they share two kids together: Wyatt, 4 and Dimitri, 2.

Meanwhile, Demi is looking forward for her next endeavor — releasing her memoir called Inside Out on September 24. “It’s exciting, and yet I feel very vulnerable,” she confessed. “There is no cover of a character. It’s not somebody else’s interpretation of me.”

Looks like Demi is getting real and raw with her fans, and we’re here for it.