There’s no denying that Chris Brown’s career has had some serious highs and lows — and he’s opening up about all of it in an upcoming documentary about his career, called Welcome to My Life.

In the trailer for the docu, he gets candid about his infamous assault of Rihanna.

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“I felt like a f–king monster,” the 26-year-old admits in the emotional trailer. “I was thinking about suicide and everything else. I wasn’t sleeping, I wasn’t eating. I just was getting high.”

Early in the morning on Feb. 8, 2009, Chris and his then-girlfriend, Rihanna, got in an argument that eventually escalated into a physical attack.

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The “Umbrella” singer was left with visible facial injuries and had to be hospitalized, while Chris was eventually charged with felony assault and making criminal threats.

He has since referred to the incident as his “deepest regret” on several occasions.

Check out the emotional trailer for Welcome to My Life:

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