Only in crumbling old tabloids do we tend to remember the starter husbands married to a celebrity in the earliest aughts of her career. You know, the Jordan Bratmans or Jason Alexanders of the world, the men that even back then we were like, "Seriously?" Luckily if you're a pop sensation you're probably able to bury those memories with crystal bodysuits, Las Vegas residencies, and two or three other marriages. But we're here, armed with a shovel, to recount those cringe-worthy short-lived couplings.

But how do these mismatched pairings happen to such powerful, beautiful ladies? Do they occur when they're a young, impressionable starlet who's swept off their feet by music, ala Mariah Carey? Or a plastered, impulsive 4 am a decision like Britney Spears? Seriously, how is it, when you're putting out Billboard-charting records, do you end up making that mistake? We get being a slave to your insecurities, we can barely boil an egg let alone put out something as iconic as "Oops…I Did It Again."

Well, in a truly touching turn of events, it turns out that celebrities are just like us… and have some truly grimace-worthy starter husbands that have been left to the sands of time. Scroll down and see for yourself.